but I need it.. Ooooh I hate that. yeah that's right.. I stopped by the bank the other day to grovel for a loan. For what? you ask... HA! I bet you'd like to know.. okay, I'll tell you. It's to build a bathroom and a kitchen, so I can move out. I know you're thinking... "but Kari... where are you gonna put a kitchen and bathroom... and what house doesn't already have that??' Well, shows what you know! It's all going in a vacant gift shop. Oh yes. And what a bitchin' little shop it was.. brand new carpet.. central air.. cable tv.. lot's of SPACE and that's what I need! Some SPACE!! Space, and unconditional control of the thermostat and television. I could actually do the kitchen later, but I figured what the hell... ask for enough money to get it all done, then bargain for less if I have to. As long as I get a bathroom.. I'm not above microwave cooking and paper plates.
I'm gonna be so bummed if they ask for a co-signer. It would kinda grate the pride a bit.. Yeah I know I could get one... but I don't WANT one! I want as little help as possible. For god's sake, one of my proudest moments was getting my car without anyone's help.. picking it out.. going in for the kill... spending way too long fighting over the deal.. (I figured if they were gonna screw me over, he might as well work for it!)... getting the loan without having anyone else sign for it. Aaaaaall mine. OOoo I still get all giddy just thinking about it. Wow.. yes. That's lame. But everyone should know by now, I don't deny! I testify! So I'll find out in a couple days if it's gonna go thru. Since ol' Kari has a decent credit score but no collateral, they have to take it to the loan committee... So yeah, everyone wish me luck from the almighty loan gods. Good thing I have a dental appointment that morning.. so I should be sufficiently doped up not to feel the sting of rejection if it should happen. On the other hand, it could lead me into overzealous celebration if they
do give me the money... somehow, embarrassing myself over a lump sum of money doesn't really sound that bad. People do it all the time on Publisher's Clearing House commercials.
Wow, since this has been a suprisingly unfunny blog, lemme just tell you something stupid I've done lately. I was in the gift shop the other day.. I look around and see all this mouse crap everywhere. So I start to freak out.. 'Oh god, there are mice in here! Oh god! I have to clean up mouse crap!' and of course you can't vacuum it.. cause apparently you'll get some kind of icky lung virus and die. Since I don't want some kind of airborne crap virus takin' me out... I came back with a dust pan and a stereo. Nothing but the sound of Pantera and my knee cracking. Soooo... a dustpan and a half into the abyss of turds... I actually forced myself to take a good look at them.. cause you know, I'm not really one for gazing at turds.. and it's at that point I realized, they weren't turds at all... they were those damn stupid bugs that roll up into little balls.. Yeah I know that's a bad description.. I know you know what they are though. Apparently, in the throes of death, these little a-holes curl up into a ball that looks suprisingly like a mouse turd.. if you're not examining them closely, mind you.
My first thought was 'YES! No mice!' followed closely by the sound of the Hallelujah choir, followed even closer by 'CRAP! I just spent an hour sweeping up something I could have vaccuumed in 30 seconds!! CRAP!!' Ah well, at least I cleaned them up. I deserve a weekend at the beach for doing it the hard way though. Maybe I'll do it too... just to bring everyone one of those 'baby-shark-in-a-bottle' souvenirs... or perhaps.. if I'm feeling generous, a squished penny with some kind of beach-themed store logo on it. Now what kind of normal person wouldn't like to have one of those! Who cares if you had to pay a dollar for it!
so I've spent most of the day in and out of consciousness.. doped up on cold medicine, coughing like an old woman with too many cats and a nasty case of emphysema. Now, for some reason my entire back hurts... what's up with that?? Haha, and get this... I woke up this morning clutching my Vicks sinus-clearing inhaler thingy... aww, how romantic. Has anyone else ever tried those?? They're pretty bitchin', although it feels kinda strange to be sticking that thing up my nose and snorting a bunch of menthol fumes... it's like I should have been in the bathroom of an LA club or something. Hmmmahh well, I still have 7 days of vacation left, I'm just hoping I can kick this cold's ass before I'm all out of time. On the bright side, I can sing right along with Bonnie Tyler and Kim Carnes... although 'Bette Davis Eyes' doesn't sound nearly as good when there's coughing and hacking between every chorus!!! hahaha*cough*hahaha
