Who'd have thought this cat would live so long?! I live next to the road for god's sake.. any other cat makes it 1 or 2 years before they're hit by a car. She's even been hit by a car (I bet this explains the handicapped part, right?) and she's still going. The second I spend all that money getting her fixed though... and it's roadkill city.. no doubt. I've considered drugging them and dumping them somewhere.. or perhaps, an elaborate assasination attempt. Does this make me a bad person??? Ah, I don't think so.. cause I really don't think I could do either one of those things.. I don't have the grapes to be a cat assassin. Hmm, that's pretty fun to say... cat assassin.. I gotta save that one. and where is this story going? Ah yes.. 10:30 the other night, I go out in my yard.. whoops, that's not what happened, that's a Dead Milkmen song. ANYWAY! I came home from work last night to the cries of a kitten.. obviously the little bugger was yowling, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to hear him over the rain. YES! THE RAIN! That's what makes this so much more interesting!!
So I go in the house, put all my crap down, and come back out with my trusty flashlight.. searched around for a little while, and finally found a teeny gray kitten... drenched and shivering underneath a tree next to my house. When I say 'underneath a tree'.. I mean way back in there. So there are tree branches in front, 2 giant shrubs wedged in next to the tree, and the fence wedged in on the opposite side. He was closer to the fence actually.. and for a second I foolishly thought I could just stick my hand thru and drag him out. Not so.. as I keep forgetting I'm not 5 years old anymore.. I've got small hands but I'm not about to get myself stuck in a fence.. in the pouring rain.. after dark. So after spending a few minutes trying to coax him out to me.. which was stupid, considering he's probably all of 2 weeks old.. he barely crawls.. I decided to go in after him. Now this part took some planning.. I've explored 99% of our property.. played in every creek, climbed every tree worth climbing.. but strangely, I've never dealt with that tree, or those shrubs. Keep in mind, I did NOT want to do this.. it was cold.. everything was soaking wet and muddy.. it was STILL raining, and who knows what god awful bugs and creatures are living in those branches. There could be spiders for crap's sake!!! BUT, apparently the sound of an abandoned kitten can break even the crustiest heart. And so, I rolled down my sleeves, zipped up my jacket and pulled the hood up. Then I threw back the branches and set about my rescue mission.
Getting in was easier than I thought, although the first word out of my mouth was 'eeeeeeewwwwwww'. It was like being in line at walmart.. ya know, where the person behind you keeps inching closer, so you end up having to inch closer to the person in front of you.. and neither one of those people are the type you want to be in the general company of anyway.. yeah.. that's what being between a drenched tree and a drenched shrub is like. Not somewhere you'd want to be. So I'm in.. and I find that after all this careful planning and strategizing.. I'm still about a foot away from the kitten.. and no way to get closer.. so I just put my hand on the ground and told him to come on. Would you believe that worked?! Yeah, I couldn't either. Ah, I suppose it was worth getting muddy and rained on. Now I'm trying to think up a name.. I think I've used all the good ones already. Hmmm. and bottle feeding a kitten kinda sucks... he's already scratched the hell out of my hands.. buuuuuuut.. there's nothing like seeing a tiny little ball of fluff totally pig out on fake cat-milk (ick), and then purr itself to sleep in your lap.
On the other hand, I hate all this mushy 'feelings' crap.. I hate the fact that I've already gotten attached to something that will more than likely die in my hands while I cry like a little bitch. DAMMIT! Yeah, that's kinda negative.. and I probably wouldn't be this way if I hadn't already done this entire scenario 20 times over. While that's a pretty selfish reason for not wanting him to die.. I still hope he makes it. He is pretty cute ya know.
"You've got the butterflies all tied up. Don't make me chase you, even doves have pride"
