What's that?? Two blogs in one evening? Am I crazy??
Well, yes.. But I'm also chock full of useless ramble tonight, so I might as well tell you all that I finally managed to get out on another roadtrip a couple weeks ago.. YEAH! and here it is, in all it's unnecessarily detailed glory!!
Well, I guess it was technically a daytrip.. Trish and I trucked it a couple hours up the highway to check out Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D Yes it was a short trip, and no, all did not go as planned, but it was what it was, and just like all of our roadtrips, hilarity did indeed ensue. beginning with the rental car. Yeah, I rented a car! I love renting cars.. But the fact that Enterprise closes at noon on Saturdays somehow escaped me. I don't really think it was my fault though, because if you close at noon, why would your website let people schedule pickups AT noon?! It makes no sense! So the guy calls me at like, 11:35 to make sure I'm still gonna pick up the car, and inform me that they close early on Saturday.
CRAP! I was still in my christmas-themed pajama pants for god's sake! Somehow, I managed to make it in there at EXACTLY noon, albeit looking like total crap because I require more than 10 minutes to get decently ready. Walk in, hand over the required driver's license / credit card Verification Combo, and the guy says '......pretty'... and I think to myself '.....uhhhh, what?'... then after a split second, I remember what cards he has, and just assume he's talking about my license, because I look good in that picture, and he's trying to let me know that it's clear that I don't always look like a big fat pile of hell.
And it's lucky that my face remained frozen in the confused look, and didn't transition into the 'oh, I get it' look, because seconds later he realized what he'd said, and the different ways it could have been taken, and followed up with '..the whole water thing'.....which is when it became clear that No, bless his heart, I hadn't gotten what he was saying. He wasn't referring to my license, he was referring to my bitchin', sparkly blue, water-themed Capitol One Visa!!!!!
Priceless! My life should be a sitcom! And it doesn't end there!
So the super awesome Enterprise dude (who shall remain nameless, cause he gave me a sweet deal on the car.) ends up giving me a brand new Sebring, even though I requested a couple classes below that. Anyway, has anyone seen the door handles on a Sebring? Car door handles that lift out like that are totally alien to me.. I had a hard enough time getting used the handles on those stupid Berettas. So I fidget with the door for about 10 seconds before I decide to swallow my sharp and rusty pride, and ask the guy how to get in the freakin' car. Just as I do, it comes open. So it was like 'GAH! How do you op.........oh'.
THEN, I forgot the most crucial step in car rentery... taking a few moments to assess the inner workings of this unfamiliar vehicle... MISTAKE!!! Cause I back out in the street, think I have it in drive, only to rev the engine in that embarrassing 'oh god, I'm in neutral' way. Then I flounder around for a minute, and eventually get it in drive... only to hear a familiar tick-tick tick-tick noise. You know, the one you don't hear very often, so when you do, it takes you a few seconds to realize you have the HAZARD LIGHTS ON!!!!! and then it takes you 10 times as long to figure out how to turn them off. Maybe it's just me, but I think the hazard lights should be somewhere on the steering wheel, or at least in a place that isn't easily accessible, instead of being directly below the stereo, in full reach of any passenger, or perhaps a driver who hasn't scoped out all of the gadgetry on a car she's driving for the first time. Any button that is so easily pressed, is never so easily found again, even if it's in plain sight. That's the law, and that's the reason I drove an embarrassing number of city blocks with the hazard lights on.
Moving on to Sunday morning.. We had actually planned to get an earlier start, and spend the day puttering around another unfamiliar city, even checked out some local tattoo places in the hopes that we'd suddenly find the intestinal fortitude to get our noses pierced. But that was not to be, as an extremely unfortunate encounter with my Lady Schick triple-blade razor left me wimpering in my bathtub like a small child. Who knew I was a bleeder? Who knew I apparently still cannot handle the sight of my own blood? ....NOT ME, That's who! Needless to say, the time it took me to stop the bleeding while trying NOT to pass out, set me back longer than it should have.
We still made it there pretty early though... I really didn't realize how easy it was to get there, all this time I thought it would be more difficult than it actually is. Strange how the universe works. Our plan was to drive straight to the theater first, and then scope out the local eateries, cause neither of us had eaten that day, and Trish had been up for at least 24 hours straight by that point. (That's right... she'd been up that long, and was still right there with me. How awesome is THAT?!) So out of all the fast-food joints we had to choose from, we made the mistake of going with Arby's.....like I said, MISTAKE!
There were at least three employees that were just standing around (well, three that I could see, anyway), two customers who had obviously been waiting a while, and a rather large spot of dried soda, with one of those 'wet floor' signs beside it. We should have turned and walked out immediately.. Ah, hindsight. Trish ordered fries.. That was it, just a large order of fries, and I shit you not, it took the guy upwards of TEN minutes to get them! Were they making fresh ones? NO! It took him that long to waltz his lazy ass over to a pile of old lukewarm fries. So she goes to find a table, and leaves me there another ten minutes waiting for the ham & cheese I ordered right after her fries. By that time, there were at least five other customers there, who were just standing around, while the laziest Arby's employees on the planet played the 'lets see how long we can make these people wait before someone goes postal' game. I don't know if anyone flipped out after I finally got my food, but I wouldn't have been suprised. The food itself was pretty gross too, so we ended up just throwing it away.. Ah well, it was our fault for not trusting our guts. Lesson learned.
Moving on, we get back to the theater, and find the little kiosk thing you use when you've preordered tickets. Here's a tip for ya.. When you put in your confirmation number, just know that within half a second, it's gonna start spewing tickets in hyper speed. Which is exactly what it did, so Trish and I are flailing around, trying desperately to grab the tickets... much like one of those money tubes that lottery and game shows used to have, where you're flailing like a jackass for $1's and $5's while the audience points and laughs.
Finally make it to our seats... (are any of you suddenly hearing the 'hallelujah' chorus? HA!), and I know we had to have spent AT LEAST a good five minutes laughing at how stupid we looked in those 3D glasses. The glasses were so huge, it prompted my Harry Caray impersonation (or rather, me impersonating Will Ferrell impersonating Harry Caray.. don't ask, cause you'll probably never get to see it!). so I guess it's good that I was in a theater full of people I never have to see again. Ah, I don't think anyone heard it anyway. Let us hope. I gotta say, if I hadn't already really liked Nightmare Before Christmas, this probably would have been a letdown, and it kinda was.. Only slightly, and that's probably just because it managed to give me a rancid headache. But that's what I get for running out of contacts, and refusing to wear my glasses underneath giant 3D glasses. My bad. The drive home was pretty uneventful, I was trying not to fall asleep, and Trish was trying not to go delirious from lack of sleep.
And so, another bitchin' roadtrip has come and gone, and now I need another one.
And with that, friends and neighbors, I'm out!
FIN!!!
Well, yes.. But I'm also chock full of useless ramble tonight, so I might as well tell you all that I finally managed to get out on another roadtrip a couple weeks ago.. YEAH! and here it is, in all it's unnecessarily detailed glory!!
Well, I guess it was technically a daytrip.. Trish and I trucked it a couple hours up the highway to check out Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D Yes it was a short trip, and no, all did not go as planned, but it was what it was, and just like all of our roadtrips, hilarity did indeed ensue. beginning with the rental car. Yeah, I rented a car! I love renting cars.. But the fact that Enterprise closes at noon on Saturdays somehow escaped me. I don't really think it was my fault though, because if you close at noon, why would your website let people schedule pickups AT noon?! It makes no sense! So the guy calls me at like, 11:35 to make sure I'm still gonna pick up the car, and inform me that they close early on Saturday.
CRAP! I was still in my christmas-themed pajama pants for god's sake! Somehow, I managed to make it in there at EXACTLY noon, albeit looking like total crap because I require more than 10 minutes to get decently ready. Walk in, hand over the required driver's license / credit card Verification Combo, and the guy says '......pretty'... and I think to myself '.....uhhhh, what?'... then after a split second, I remember what cards he has, and just assume he's talking about my license, because I look good in that picture, and he's trying to let me know that it's clear that I don't always look like a big fat pile of hell.
And it's lucky that my face remained frozen in the confused look, and didn't transition into the 'oh, I get it' look, because seconds later he realized what he'd said, and the different ways it could have been taken, and followed up with '..the whole water thing'.....which is when it became clear that No, bless his heart, I hadn't gotten what he was saying. He wasn't referring to my license, he was referring to my bitchin', sparkly blue, water-themed Capitol One Visa!!!!!
Priceless! My life should be a sitcom! And it doesn't end there!
So the super awesome Enterprise dude (who shall remain nameless, cause he gave me a sweet deal on the car.) ends up giving me a brand new Sebring, even though I requested a couple classes below that. Anyway, has anyone seen the door handles on a Sebring? Car door handles that lift out like that are totally alien to me.. I had a hard enough time getting used the handles on those stupid Berettas. So I fidget with the door for about 10 seconds before I decide to swallow my sharp and rusty pride, and ask the guy how to get in the freakin' car. Just as I do, it comes open. So it was like 'GAH! How do you op.........oh'.
THEN, I forgot the most crucial step in car rentery... taking a few moments to assess the inner workings of this unfamiliar vehicle... MISTAKE!!! Cause I back out in the street, think I have it in drive, only to rev the engine in that embarrassing 'oh god, I'm in neutral' way. Then I flounder around for a minute, and eventually get it in drive... only to hear a familiar tick-tick tick-tick noise. You know, the one you don't hear very often, so when you do, it takes you a few seconds to realize you have the HAZARD LIGHTS ON!!!!! and then it takes you 10 times as long to figure out how to turn them off. Maybe it's just me, but I think the hazard lights should be somewhere on the steering wheel, or at least in a place that isn't easily accessible, instead of being directly below the stereo, in full reach of any passenger, or perhaps a driver who hasn't scoped out all of the gadgetry on a car she's driving for the first time. Any button that is so easily pressed, is never so easily found again, even if it's in plain sight. That's the law, and that's the reason I drove an embarrassing number of city blocks with the hazard lights on.
Moving on to Sunday morning.. We had actually planned to get an earlier start, and spend the day puttering around another unfamiliar city, even checked out some local tattoo places in the hopes that we'd suddenly find the intestinal fortitude to get our noses pierced. But that was not to be, as an extremely unfortunate encounter with my Lady Schick triple-blade razor left me wimpering in my bathtub like a small child. Who knew I was a bleeder? Who knew I apparently still cannot handle the sight of my own blood? ....NOT ME, That's who! Needless to say, the time it took me to stop the bleeding while trying NOT to pass out, set me back longer than it should have.
We still made it there pretty early though... I really didn't realize how easy it was to get there, all this time I thought it would be more difficult than it actually is. Strange how the universe works. Our plan was to drive straight to the theater first, and then scope out the local eateries, cause neither of us had eaten that day, and Trish had been up for at least 24 hours straight by that point. (That's right... she'd been up that long, and was still right there with me. How awesome is THAT?!) So out of all the fast-food joints we had to choose from, we made the mistake of going with Arby's.....like I said, MISTAKE!
There were at least three employees that were just standing around (well, three that I could see, anyway), two customers who had obviously been waiting a while, and a rather large spot of dried soda, with one of those 'wet floor' signs beside it. We should have turned and walked out immediately.. Ah, hindsight. Trish ordered fries.. That was it, just a large order of fries, and I shit you not, it took the guy upwards of TEN minutes to get them! Were they making fresh ones? NO! It took him that long to waltz his lazy ass over to a pile of old lukewarm fries. So she goes to find a table, and leaves me there another ten minutes waiting for the ham & cheese I ordered right after her fries. By that time, there were at least five other customers there, who were just standing around, while the laziest Arby's employees on the planet played the 'lets see how long we can make these people wait before someone goes postal' game. I don't know if anyone flipped out after I finally got my food, but I wouldn't have been suprised. The food itself was pretty gross too, so we ended up just throwing it away.. Ah well, it was our fault for not trusting our guts. Lesson learned.
Moving on, we get back to the theater, and find the little kiosk thing you use when you've preordered tickets. Here's a tip for ya.. When you put in your confirmation number, just know that within half a second, it's gonna start spewing tickets in hyper speed. Which is exactly what it did, so Trish and I are flailing around, trying desperately to grab the tickets... much like one of those money tubes that lottery and game shows used to have, where you're flailing like a jackass for $1's and $5's while the audience points and laughs.
Finally make it to our seats... (are any of you suddenly hearing the 'hallelujah' chorus? HA!), and I know we had to have spent AT LEAST a good five minutes laughing at how stupid we looked in those 3D glasses. The glasses were so huge, it prompted my Harry Caray impersonation (or rather, me impersonating Will Ferrell impersonating Harry Caray.. don't ask, cause you'll probably never get to see it!). so I guess it's good that I was in a theater full of people I never have to see again. Ah, I don't think anyone heard it anyway. Let us hope. I gotta say, if I hadn't already really liked Nightmare Before Christmas, this probably would have been a letdown, and it kinda was.. Only slightly, and that's probably just because it managed to give me a rancid headache. But that's what I get for running out of contacts, and refusing to wear my glasses underneath giant 3D glasses. My bad. The drive home was pretty uneventful, I was trying not to fall asleep, and Trish was trying not to go delirious from lack of sleep.
And so, another bitchin' roadtrip has come and gone, and now I need another one.
And with that, friends and neighbors, I'm out!
FIN!!!
"...Leaves are falling all around, Its time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, Im much obliged for such a pleasant stay.
But now its time for me to go, the autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and its headed my way..."
Thanks to you, Im much obliged for such a pleasant stay.
But now its time for me to go, the autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and its headed my way..."
