Anyway! Yes, on to the song! Here it is again, just in case you didn't see it before...
hmm, ok, it won't let me post the player here. So for the sake of including it to have some reference to last week's blog, here's the link... click it if you feel like clicking. If you don't, then don't. I don't mind...
The Song From Last Week's Blog, a.k.a Paul Williams - Flying Dreams
A few of you (who didn't know what the song was) expressed great concern that I was turning into the "biggest sap on the planet". Unfortunately, I didn't consider what you would be thinking when you heard such a syrupy *spit* loooooooooooove song on my page. Well rest assured, my dear readers and faithful friends, that no, I have not turned into a great big sappy, mushy, love song-filled pile of emotional shit. NO! In fact it is quite the opposite. However I will tell you that I have reached some level of Mecha Nerditry with this one. That's because it just happens to be from The Secret Of Nimh, which of course is a bitchin' movie I watched a zillion times as a child. I loved that song then, which was ok, cause I was 4 or 5, and was allowed to be in love with such sickeningly sweet compositions. I'm still allowed to love it today only because it's been grandfathered in. I might even have to burn it to cd so I can listen to it in the car to really appreciate the backing strings. I love violins and cello. WORD!
I'm also pretty big on trivia, and I knew that would throw some people for a loop, which it did. Maybe too big of a loop though. Overshot that one pretty far, as only 2 people recognized it. The others were simply worried for my sanity, and that crusty exterior I like to keep around my tasty and somewhat vulnerable little gummy-heart. Everyone else that may have read it probably just kept their mouths shut and tried to forget they ever saw it! HA! Not to fear! All is safe, well-controlled and well-protected. Not even a Paul Williams soundtrack ditty from way back in '82 can change that! ha HA! And the day is mine! well kinda...
That brings me to another point.. DAMN it's hard to get a job. Maybe I should add a few things to that.. DAMN it's hard to get a job when you're a college dropout with no super awesome skills to speak of. Well ok, I DO have some super awesome skills, but they don't translate into a good resume. I suppose. It's just a good thing that freelance work for the super cool sis-in-law is picking up again.
Still, you wouldn't believe the jobs that I have applied for in the weeks that I have been sending my rickety ol' resume out, and NOTHING! NOTHING to be heard back from these places. I find that pretty rude actually. I'd MUCH rather hear (or read) "Thanks Kari, but we're gonna pass on you"...... or "Thanks, but NO, Kari" or "Yeah, how bout 'No', Kari" or even "No, I'm sorry, you are TOTALLY unqualified for this job Kari. I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to say this as a salaried representative of Company X, but you suck. There, I said it, you just suck. I've actually just lit your resume on fire."... ya know? I can handle pretty much anything except getting NO RESPONSE AT ALL!
As for the jobs themselves, I have applied for a nice, well-rounded variety, with the highest points being as follows -- the bitchin' sales job at a "growing medical spa" in Ashland, namely Smooth Solutions located somewhere in the abyss of Bellefonte Hospital. They win the award for "First Company to IGNORE Kari". So if you are reading this, Smooth Solutions, which would be really funny if you were.. like if all the employees could form into one giant monster named Smooth Solutions that possessed enough manual dexterity to work a mouse and navigate the internet... anyway, if you're reading this, Smooth Solutions, YOU SUCK!
Next up was a sales rep for some eyeglasses company. That one would have been mildly cool. There was a small amount of travel involved, and perhaps a bitchin' discount on sunglasses. Ah, another dead end. There were a few more in between, but none as cool as the Dental Assistant job I applied for a couple weeks ago. Ok, yes, THAT one was kind of a bummer.
Probably because I almost went into a program for Dental Techs some time ago (which is different than an assistant, yes, but in the same industry, so go with me here). Not that I necessarily like working with people, but I figure it would have been a great place to let my obsessive compulsive tendencies shine. I seriously got a little giddy at the idea of laying out tools. YES! IT'S TRUE! I was already envisioning a tray of useful dental tools, ALL pointing the same way and having an equal distance in between! I can't help it, I like order, and I like having a set schedule and a set list of tasks. This is because I like to spend my time making that routine better, faster, and more efficient; because I'm a geek. It's the reason I know that the least amount of time it takes to process a roll of film was only 20 minutes from start to finish, instead of much longer, as we used to tell our customers at wal-mart. This was of course doing it as fast as I could and this was also circa 2005, so things could have changed by now. Plus, that's not counting the workload or the douchebag customers congregating at the counter. Anyway, back to the land of happy little dental assistants. Yes, order and set schedules, and teeth,
AND...
AND!!!
There was lab stuff involved!!! LIKE MOLDS AND STUFF! HEAVEN! The fact that I own my own monster-makers acrylic dental kit, and use it every so often to make a sweet set of fangs or other weird creature teeth was something I really couldn't add into a resume or cover letter. However, I fully intended to gush about my crude amateur dentistry in an interview, and maybe even try to hypnotize them with some carefully planned eyeshadow. Look at the eyes, not the resume! Alas, it was not to be. Another LETS-IGNORE-KARI award and a shoutout goes to Straitsmiles (or something that sounded like it) somewhere in the abyss of Russell. I bite my thumb at you, Straitsmiles! A plague on your dental practice! Even though I've given up and moved on to different things. I won't include the most recent job-ap, which was for a bank teller position, because there has not been ample time for them to officially ignore me yet. HA! So to everyone else, yes, a plague on all your houses! *insert more thumb-biting here*
Ok, maybe I don't really mean that. I realize that all applicants at this stage are a mere sheet of paper, and mine doesn't happen to be as schnazzy, or as long, or probably as qualified as the rest. I don't deny, you know I testify. I'll be completely honest and say that if I were a recruiter or an employer, that IS how I would probably treat it too. I'd probably look at that resume and think 'riiiiiiiiiiight'......
...'riiiiiiiight into the garbage!'
and this is where the internet and new-fangled technology has done me wrong. It really IS just a sheet of paper, or an email, or a short and to-the-point message with a smiley face here on the interwebs. Completely lacking in personal flare, and I can only assume that must be why EVERY single thing I'm after lately seems to be completely and utterly immune to the Kari-Flare, which I must rectify, post-haste!
did I mention the Kari-Flare is sparkly and smells like Gucci II and candy? Everyone loves candy, right? RIGHT!
Anyway, on to the rectification!
but how......
I'll have to think on that one for a while.
~You open your eyes and stare into mine, a stare like your's is hard to find; its ultraviolet. You close your eyes and breathe. I feel your lips, you hit the switch.~
