A zillion random useless facts. Enjoy...

I wish more people did this, I know I like reading random crap about others...

~My favorite color is metallic blue
~I'm a Leo
~I hate those religious pamphlets that look like $20 bills.
~I hate the people who give out religious pamphlets that look like $20 bills.
~I'm in a good mood 95% of the time.
~I use the words Bitchin' and Sweet.... a lot
~I have a giant list of words and phrases I find funny, and would laugh at in any given moment.
~I made an ass of myself on the 'Mr. Cartoon' show, circa 1988. Thank god my parents accidentally taped over it with an episode of Geraldo.
~I am not a morning person. Any attempts to converse with me in the morning are completely futile.
~I don't like spending money... unless it's on shoes... and then only if they're really cool. *cough*NewRock*cough*
~Another strange money related Kari fact -- If I don't have any money, all the things that I like to do are automatically pushed to the forgotten crevices of my brain.. like sleep mode or something. For the simple fact that it sucks to think about all the things you want to do, but don't have the $$ for, and I'm not about to spend someone else's money on something I want to do. As soon as there's money in my pocket, it all comes flooding back. How weird is that?!
~I don't like talking on the phone. Probably the only chick who doesn't.
~People who leech off the government, or don't bathe piss me off.
~Close-minded people royally piss me off.
~I am deathly afraid of bears and sharks.
~I can't stand touching ice cubes. *shudder*
~I've got a story for everything.
~I named my old car Roxanne cause the interior lights were red.
~I hate food noises, or any gross noises in general.
~Contrary to popular belief, I am not on drugs, nor have I ever voluntarily done drugs.
~I always wonder what people are thinking when they look at me. I hope it isn't 'Damn, she's ugly!' that would suck!
~I love the word 'Pygmy' and try use it in general conversation as often as possible. EXAMPLE: "Bob was attacked by a rabid pygmy goat, and if we can't get the antidote, he'll turn into a pygmy goat at midnight... damn pygmy goats."
~I can't stand asking for help.
~It's nearly impossible to offend me, unless you're just straight out making fun of someone.
~If I'm not thinking of anything in particular, I end up looking totally pissed off. I guess this unnerves some people. Like it's my fault! I promise I'm not an evil bitch! Sometimes I catch myself, and I'll move my face around so I don't have the shoot to kill look.
~I'm a pack-rat.
~Sometimes I'll think of a song, and then get so into it that I start moving my head along with the music.
~My grandma has been dead for 14 years, but I still distinctly remember what she smelled like -- kleenex. Not fresh kleenex, but the ones you keep crumpled up in your coat pocket just in case. It bothers me that I can't remember her voice.
~My other grandma died 3 years ago, and when my dad called to tell me, I was in the middle of a dream about her funeral.
~My eyes are green, but there's some brown in there too, which has led to several arguments about what color they are. They're my eyes! I know what color they are!
~One of the coolest things I've ever seen was on the plane home from California, it was storming, I was listening to Led Zeppelin - Kashmir, and the lightning was going along with the song. Being in the sky, and watching it all light up like that probably kept me from having a coronary.
~I can't stand to cry. I'm pretty good at keeping it together unless someone tries to hug me. It's like, if I look like I'm gonna cry, don't touch me unless you're prepared to have me latched on to you for a while. I can say from experience.. most people aren't prepared for that.
~I love coffee, but I'm stupid when it comes to all this latte and espresso crap. Just give me regular coffee dammit!
~I was in girlscouts, but only for the cookies.
~My dog growls at anyone who tries to wake me up too early.
~I looooove theme parks.
~I can't eat in complete silence. I just can't. I need background noise.
~I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. I'm the baby
~I'm afraid of spiders, and if I kill one, I have to hide the body so it's little spider family won't seek revenge a la 'Arachnophobia'.
~I can't stand people who don't have a sense of humor.
~I can find humor in anything, but I also know when to be serious.
~I'm very sarcastic, and I've realized that not everyone is like that. There are also lots of people out there who can't take a joke. I hate those people.
~I love ranch salad dressing, and most anything ranch flavored.
~Trish has been my best friend for over 10 years
~My best guy friend is in his 50's, and one of the coolest people I've ever met.
~I can't dance. I'm even bad at slow dancing. The last guy I danced with told me just to stand on his feet and he'd do all the work. Talk about making me feel like an ass!!
~I love playing in the rain, but I never do it, because nobody else likes getting drenched in a downpour, and I don't want to do it by myself.
~ I have noticeable trouble saying 'Saturday Night Live'.
~I love trying foreign candy and fruit. I'm not into weird meats though. You should always know what you're eating when it comes to meats.
~I am a jerky fiend though.. beef, chicken, turkey.. it's all good.
~Overly sexual people bug me. Like they learned their entire vocabulary from a cheesy romance novel. You just don't use words like 'tender', 'juicy' etc.. unless you're talking about steak. Even then it still bugs me. Don't get me wrong here, I'm a total perv, but there's a time and place for everything, ya know?
~I think one of the best accessories is a pair of cool sunglasses.
~I've never seen a guy look bad in a military uniform or a tux.
~I can't use a public bathroom if the cracks between the stall doors are too wide. I've actually had nightmares about that.
~I'm somewhat ashamed of the fact that I sometimes confuse Star Wars afficianados with Star Trek fans. I'm sure calling a star wars fan a trekkie would be considered blasphemous enough to have me burned at the stake.
~I'm really good at figuring out who or what people look like. It's a blessing and a curse though, as no one ever wants to hear about the woman I worked with who looked like a cross between Gene Simmons and Rob Schneider.

FIN!!

I just wanna say, chili willi's SUCKS!

Ok, the waitress was nice, I'll give em that. But 3 bucks for a chicken taco?! CRIPES! And it didn't even taste like chicken! I'd bet the rest of my money it was turkey. Apparently, chili willi's is the kind of mexican restaurant that people with digestive problems frequent... like old people or something. 'I just want it to look like mexican food... but don't actually put any spices in it!'. You know, no offense to old people or anything. ha and to top it off, I guess their sewer gets backed up a lot. Go figure. We're waiting for our food, and I catch a whiff of that unholy sulfurous stench, that for a second makes you wonder if there's an exorcism going on in the back. But I guess there wasn't, unless the staff just passed it off as sewer probs. Hmmm. I SMELL A CHURCH COVER UP! and there's my rant of the day :) ORDER UP!!

hahaha.......eeeeeeeew....

So I got my first 'guy-too-cheap-to-pay-for-a-900-number' call today.

Yup, that's right. It started off innocent enough, the first thing he said was how nice my voice is.. (strangely enough, I hear that all the time. I guess I try really hard to sound nice at work.haha). Then he's asking me if he'll get charged for the phone he just sent back in, and I'm trying to look through the notes on his account to see when all this happened. In the meantime, he's babbling on about flirting and how I sound cute, and how I don't sound like I'm from Kentucky (probably cause I'm not. HA!), and am I married, and yadda yadda yadda, bla la la... I usually let people ramble while I'm trying to look at their account anyway, so I wasn't paying much attention.

Then he asks me if we tape our phone calls... so like an ass I say 'I'm not really sure which ones they tape, they don't tell us'.... yeah, that was pretty much asking for it. I know that now. But honestly, what kind of cheap bastard gets his jollies from call center reps?! Ick!

So then, he's asking me stuff like what I look like, and I'm trying to dodge the questions by saying crap like 'geez I don't know, I'm not good at describing myself' (which isn't a lie anyways, but I digress), then he starts guessing.

"What color hair? Black? Blonde? Brown?" ....ok brown.

"Eyes? Blue? Green?"... *sigh* green

"Weight?".........HA! like I'm gonna tell that! pfft! I should have just asked him if he'd ever seen the video for 'Sweet Emotion'. That probably woulda shut him up real quick!

"Hmmm, okay, I have other questions, can you help me?..." to that I said only if you wanna know about cellphones.

in between all these questions, he's saying other things that just seem like he's trying to make me talk.... and the way he was talking leads me to believe he wasn't just sitting there picking his nose.

Talk about making me feel dirty.. and not even in a good way. j/k

then he's got the grapes to ask me about my boobs. HA! I don't discuss the girls with anyone. So I basically just asked him if there was anything he wanted to know about cellphones, and I'm not even sure I let him answer before I said thank you for calling yadda yadda.. goodbye.

Now this is one of the only things I don't like about my job.. Normally I would of just hung up on the guy, but I'm not allowed to hang up on a customer. I have to try and help him (with his cellphone. cellphone!!!).

Ah, all in a days work

On the road again... Part Deux..

Okay, so the roadtrip was awesome... and yes, we picked a really swanky hotel... but only because two chicks on a road trip alone is kinda dangerous. We wanted something with good security and as close as possible to the venue... and when you put hicks in a swanky hotel... well, you can imagine. I own nice luggage, but for an overnight stay? Nope.. I had a huge blue backpack, a shoulder bag thingie (okay, that's part of my luggage) and a victoria's secret bag. That one ended up staying in the car when I thought about how retarded it would look for me to waltz into the lobby with a victoria's secret bag full of small appliances. How was I to be sure they'd have a hairdryer? Luckily they did.

No, I've never used valet parking... no matter how snotty the hotel, it's still a shifty-eyed teenager in a red coat. Even if wasn't my car (we took Trish's), I still didn't trust em! But, it was either pay the kid fifteen bucks (!!!) or have to haul our crap two blocks from a parking garage. Yeah right! So we check in, and the room was awesome.. mini-bar and all. For some reason, the hick side of my brain overruled the side of logic to actually produce the thought 'Don't even touch the minibar or you'll get charged!' So then we take a cab to the venue. I'd never been in a cab, so again.. new experience for Kari. haha. So we get in, and the guy is wearing some pretty stout cologne. Did I mention my love of cologne? Yeah well, this cologne was bad.. real bad. Anyway, the man rolls down the window like WE stink! hahaha Gotta love it. So then he starts speaking some foreign language into his cellphone. Apparently in his native tongue, whatever the hell it was, the phrase 'good luck, man' is still the same as in english.. it was like "jabberjabberjabberjabber Good luck, man!! jabberjabberjabberjabber". The five bucks we paid for a three minute ride was worth it just for the laughs.

We get into the venue, and spend the next couple hours plastering it with posters... so many posters, that one of the barworkers actually asked us to stop. He didn't think the fans would take them down...whatever, they were nearly all gone by the time the show was over.. kids were getting them signed left and right. HA! MR. BARWORKER! I SCOFF AT YOU! SCOFF SCOFF!! First band was Zao.. all this time I thought it was pronounced 'zow', I guess it's actually 'zay-o' or something to that effect.. actually I don't even care, cause I didn't like them at all. I'm all for growling, but occasionally, I like to be able to pick out a word or two in the songs. and then there was DevilDriver. Not to sound like such a fan, but they honestly get better every time I see them. Great set, the crowd went insane, the circle pit was crazy, and lo and behold, they were filming for the dvd. It would happen that there was an insane bright light that would flash like every 30 seconds.. honest to god it was like 'the light'.. just made me wanna say 'Can you show us the way home, Carol Anne?', so if there's any shot of me on the dvd it would be when the light flashes and I'm freaking out and covering my eyes. hahaha after their set, Trish and I made our way to the merch table. This was of course, after we'd made our way to the bar... and since we'd only had a sandwich from Arby's... the booze hit me 'like a garbage truck... dropped off the empire state building'.. and so, this is the only picture I could be dragged into...



and nope, I don't really remember taking it. We completely missed Trivium (eh, no biggie) and In Flames (damn).....but, we were with great people, so a good time was had by all. Took another cab back to the hotel at some point, and the valet guys were still out, waiting to open the door for us. Yeah, that was really nice, but we were honestly just trying to make it to the elevator without stumbling into something. haha Next thing I know, it's after 6am, and Trish is talking to me.. I'm not a morning person anyway, and I was still basically pickled in crown royal. it went a little like this.. 'Kari?' 'Yeah, where am I?' 'You're in your bed.. in the hotel' 'Where are you?' 'I'm in my bed'.. and I think there may have been a '...dumbass' thrown in there too. Haha So I open my eyes and I can't see anything... I have a milisecond thought that I've drank myself blind, and then I remember I left my contacts in. Whew! Thank god for that.

Then I hear 'dude, they even put chocolates on our pillows'..... then I think to myself, 'chocolate... what chocolate? I never saw any chocolate.' then I start to panic, thinking I've slept on it, and there's gonna be some huge brown stain in my bed... eeeeeeeew! Right about that time is when I saw it on the nightstand. Whew! Lucky. Throw off the blankets to discover I'm wearing the same clothes.. bar bracelet and all. If this happened to me more than once a year, it would be a lot less funny. In fact it would be pretty sad. Sad in one of those 'Lifetime Channel' kinda ways. Then, we fell victim to the room service breakfast menu... that's what happens when you leave all of your munchies in the car... a car that is now basically owned by the valet redcoats.

So instead of Munchos and Dr. Pepper, we had sausage links and hashbrowns... honestly, that was pretty brave... I'm not sure how we made it through that much grease without throwing up. The ride home was pretty uneventful, just basically laughing at the same things as on the way up.. I defy you to pass a sign for 'Big Beaver Creek', 'PeePee Creek', 'Wetmore Road', 'Tater Ridge', or 'Buttles Street' without laughing. Maybe I'm just into cheap humor, but stuff like that will never cease to crack me up. Eh, that's about it. All in all, probably the best road trip ever. I know I've left out so much stuff....I really need to start filming them.

On the road again...

God I love road trips. I don't like driving in snow, but it's for a worthy cause. Where's global warming when I need it?! HUH?

ahhh, off to finish getting ready. If anyone needs me, you know my #.

I'll be back tomorrow... hopefully with lots of bitchin' pictures.

FIN!

pfffff...

Do you ever feel like you're asleep at the wheel?

by wheel, I mean life.

Quick, somebody slap me before I get really lame.

I'm sorry guys, I promise I'll perk up when winter's over. Cold weather sucks.

"...old man winter can kiss my ass".

I gotta get a new camera...

How can I be a camera whore with such a shitty camera?? How can I take those artsy fartsy 'I'm in really deep, wistful thought' kind of pics and then mess with the color and contrast until I don't even look like myself with such a shitty camera? Well, I shouldn't be... but I am. It's shameful. And you would think since I used to work in a photo lab, I would have a decent camera. Actually, I do... and it's pretty nice, but it's 35mm... and thanks to my rejection of change and all things digital, when I finally broke down, I settled on the cheapest, and in turn, the shittiest. Yes, it's my own fault. I'll take the blame. I don't deny, I TESTIFY!!! I think I'm actually a paranoid old lady in a 24 year old body.. Seriously, I don't trust people, I reject nearly all new technologies, I don't like the holidays, I don't know what I'd do without my electric blanket, I know my dog's name, but I haven't the slightest idea how many cats I have and what their names are, and I'd bury my money in the back yard if I thought I could find it without drawing a map.. and really, if you gotta draw a map, well that just defeats the purpose doesn't it?

and I would have added 'blind as bat' to the list, but I just got contacts (and new glasses too.. the old ones had been sat on more times than I care to think about). It's really strange to be able to see now. It still doesn't register though, so it's gonna take me a while before I start acknowledging people when I pass em. So don't get pissed if I ignore ya! Cause I'm not, I just haven't realized that I can actually see you now! HA! Eh, I guess the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.. Ya know, this blog seemed to flow well in my head anyway.. but now it just seems like my usual inane ramblings... and I even left out the dream I had about being an investigator trying to thwart a plot to assasinate Bob Dylan... and how the other day, coming home from work, I eluded a cop on the city streets of Ironton while listening to the 'Oh Yeah' song from Ferris Bueller's Day Off... now that was strange.. and also pretty funny. Hmm

Another New Devildriver Video!!

Go watch it!! End Of The Line and yes, it's that time of year again... time for a roadtrip! The hotels have been booked, mix tapes (ok, cds.. whatever) are being mixed... and a good time will be had by all. as for the songs on the mix tape, I'll give you a tip.. never listen to the top gun theme song (no, not the Berlin song, the Steve Stevens thing) while you're driving down the highway. It just makes you feel oddly triumphant when you pass another car.. like you've beaten them or something. Then you get really embarrassed. Trust me on that one. And I think everyone would like to know, I'll be temporarily cleaning out the address book on my cell, so nobody has to worry about my inebriated dialings this time. Of course, I just happen to be the funniest drunk on the planet. No lie. At least I think so anyway.
: P

"I've been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun. Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around"

Slashed my friend list. All bloody-like... oooo scary.

Slashed my friend list. All bloody-like... oooo scary.

Yeah, I got a little overzealous with the delete button. Ah who cares! It was fun at the time!

So if I deleted you, and I shouldn't have.. You know, if you actually care that I deleted you, send me an invite and I'll add ya back.

... it's possible that I miss you.

I'm re-doing Halloween...

Yes that's right. Mine sucked turds. Thus, Halloween version 2.0 will commence one dark and gloomy night in the near future... meaning sometime after I get paid. HA! as for the FAQ...

Q: Hey Kari... will there be booze at this party?
A: Umm let's see.... *thinking face*........YES. LOTS. Most of it is for me, but perhaps I could spare a shot or two.

Q: But Kari, why not just wait until next Halloween?
A: Jeez, I don't know.. Maybe cause that would be stupid! Do not question me! I RULE YOU!

Q: This "Halloween v.2.0" sounds like a swingin' bash... am I invited?
A: Probably not.... because you probably had a great Halloween... in which case, BITE ME!

Q: But Kari, I'll bring you a bottle of your favorite vodka, and some Totino's pizza rolls..
A: Fine.. throw in a box of fudge rounds, and you've got yourself a deal.

Q: Hey Kari... more than one Butthead would be Buttheads... but would more than one Beavis be Beavises, or Beavi??
A: I don't know man, I just don't know. Been trying to answer that one for years! I'm thinking 'Beavi', ya know, like how the plural of cactus is cacti... *sigh* Perhaps we'll never know.

AND THAT'S A FAQ, JACK!!!!

Moving on...Work has been pretty good. I'm 2 weeks in, and even though I've got the new job-mind freeze, it's a hell of a lot better than Walmart. I'm up to my eyebrows in cell phone procedures, codes, programs, training videos, yadda yadda. Frankly, this little wad of gum I affectionately refer to as 'my brain', is having a hard time keeping up... and I've still got 4 weeks to go! Apparently, we haven't even scratched the surface yet. Eeek

Yeah, just a little uneasy about that..So for the first time in years, I actually feel challenged by my job. Kinda forgot what that was like... guess I'd turned into some kind of retail robot. I only just snapped out of that last Sunday... I woke up at 9am, thinking about all the things I could do that day, instead of being mega pissed off to be awake that early. Eh well, the people are nice, the building doesn't stink like chili powder, the benefits are good, and I can actually see a future here. Plus, pretty soon I'll be able to buy cute shoes anytime I damn well feel like it. Yup, I think I'll stay.

Answer me this...

Did this guy just throw his dog at the camera? or is he cheering the dog on cause it can jump really high?? Yeah, I don't know either.

Digging in the Dirt...

Had to dig a little grave today. Yesterday I was taking care of five kittens... today I'm taking care of three and frankly I'm getting tired of holding a dying kitten, making sure it's all warm and cozy, and loved. I can't stand to let a kitten (okay, anything) die cold and alone. Suffice it to say my cat's a total farkin' deadbeat. Ahh.. off to more bottle feedings..

........

"'Is there anybody there?' said the Traveller,
Knocking on the moonlit door;
And his horse in the silence champed the grasses
Of the forest's ferny floor:
And a bird flew up out of the turret,
Above the Traveller's head
And he smote upon the door again a second time;
'Is there anybody there?' he said.
But no one descended to the Traveller;
No head from the leaf-fringed sill
Leaned over and looked into his grey eyes,
Where he stood perplexed and still.
But only a host of phantom listeners
That dwelt in the lone house then
Stood listening in the quiet of the moonlight
To that voice from the world of men:
Stood thronging the faint moonbeams on the dark stair,
That goes down to the empty hall,
Hearkening in an air stirred and shaken
By the lonely Traveller's call.
And he felt in his heart their strangeness,
Their stillness answering his cry,
While his horse moved, cropping the dark turf,
'Neath the starred and leafy sky;
For he suddenly smote on the door, even
Louder, and lifted his head:-
'Tell them I came, and no one answered,
That I kept my word,' he said.
Never the least stir made the listeners,
Though every word he spake
Fell echoing through the shadowiness of the still house
From the one man left awake:
Ay, they heard his foot upon the stirrup,
And the sound of iron on stone,
And how the silence surged softly backward,
When the plunging hoofs were gone."

"Excuse me, Are you the Judean People's Front??...Fuck off! We're the People's Front of Judea!"

Ya know, I started this blog thinking I actually had something to talk about. But I don't Damn I'm bored. Lonely and bored. Bored and lonely. Oh well While I'm wallowing in my boredom, do me a favor... click HERE and listen to the new Devildriver songs. They're awesome. Trust me. You'll love them. Buy the album when it comes out. It's starting to rain now. I'm gonna go light some candles, listen to Journey's greatest hits, and re-evaluate my life.

Mmmmmm Boooooooze.....

Alcohol Knowledge Test Bacardi 151 Congratulations! You're 137 proof, with specific scores in beer (60) , wine (83), and liquor (104). All right. No more messing around. Your knowledge of alcohol is so high that you have drinking and getting plastered down to a science. Sure, you could get wasted drinking beer, but who needs all those trips to the bathroom? You head straight for the bar and pick up that which is most efficient. How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 81% proof You scored higher than 90% beer index You scored higher than 90% wine index You scored higher than 98% liquor index

Here's a little ditty I wrote in jail...

okay maybe not. but something funny happened the other day. There I was at work, minding my own business, when this guy walks past my department... alright, I know that's not funny, but I'm getting there! Stay with me! so he walks by, and I thought he looked a little familiar. It was then I realized he was from Myspace... not only is he on myspace, but he has pictures of his ass on here too. HAHA! I just wanted to point and yell.. 'DUDE! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU BUT I'VE SEEN YOUR ASS!!!' it was so strange.. there he was with his little shopping cart, trolling for bargains, and all I could think about was how I've seen his ass. Ya know, I guess that could be said for several walmart shoppers, considering the kind of pictures I have to develop every day... but somehow this was different. and funnier.. hahahaha

Merry Frikkin' Christmas...

I don't like the holidays anymore. Ya know, I never thought I'd turn into one of those bitter old christmas hating hags, but here I am... I'm only 60 cats away from achieving my full 'old hag' potential. Well, okay 60 cats and about 40 years.. give or take a few. HA! It just doesn't feel like christmas anymore. I don't want to be a kid again, but I miss the innocence. I miss the magic of everything, before I had bills, when I could spend all day playing in the snow.. back when only old people died. We had a party for Dimebag last Tuesday. We all drank a black tooth in his honor. Got utterly smashed too. I had never tried Crown Royal, but we found it to be quite tasty actually. So we had almost half a bottle of that, plus half a bottle of my Stoli, plus half a bottle of Kamchatka vodka (sp?), which is russian for 'cheap'. I hadn't drank in nearly a year, so it obviously didn't take that much to get snookered (god I love that word!!). Most of the night is a blur now, except I do remember putting our shoes on our knees so we would look like midgets, and then we took pictures. I'm not sure how many screwdrivers (or Devildrivers, as we have renamed them..) I drank before we just starting drinking the vodka and crown royal straight. I do remember the phrase 'I love you man!!! Gimme a hug!!' being used.. a lot. Which is funny, because I didn't really think I was the affectionate type. Just depends I guess. and you would think that I'd have some horrific hangover. WELL I DIDN'T!! You know what the secret is?? TOTINO'S PIZZA ROLLS!! No less than twenty-five though. That is a definite number. Seriously. I felt great the next day, aside from being really sore. I'm one of those clumsy drunks. I prefer to crawl around rather than walk and fall into stuff, although I always end up bruised and sore anyways. Eh well, I'd write more if I remembered more, but I don't.

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness"

Hello.. my name is Kari... and I keep a dustbuster in my car

Yeah that's right. I'm not ashamed anymore. Since I bought my car, I've become a total neat freak about it. Gravel and mud are my enemies! So if I have to keep a dustbuster in the car at all times, so be it! The other day at work, I was vacuuming during my lunch break. Some guy slowed down as he drove past and gave me the ol' 'are you crazy?!' look. Gotta love that one! I guess it did look pretty strange though. haha

People piss me off...

I'm constantly disappointed by the way people treat each other. I spend all day people watching (yeah, while I work.. what can I say, I'm a good multi-tasker!) .. seeing people treat their spouses, children, and basically anyone within the general vicinity, like shit. I take a lot of crap at work, but if a guy I was dating talked to me the way some of these guys talk to their girls, "he'd better be wearin' a cup". (Who said THAT one!?! YEAH!! 3 points for me!) I think everyone should work at least a year in retail. Maybe then, we wouldn't have so many assholes roaming the isles.. just waiting to treat someone like dirt. Perhaps I should just become some sort of superhero... save poor defenseless retail workers from asshole shoppers. RETAIL GIRL TO THE RESCUE!!! FIGHTING RUDENESS - ONE OLD HAG AT A TIME!!! Actually, that should probably be a last resort.. I don't look that hot in tights. heh heh Seriously though, maybe if these people knew what it was like to spend all day, every day dealing with this crap, they would think twice about putting someone else through it. Thank you, Thank you No applause

Siiiiiiiiick...

I have another cold. Who the hell gets a cold in the summertime? Me. Okay that was too easy. and all I wanna know, is where's my sexy male nurse?? Huh? eh, you know that's just the cold medicine talkin'... or is it? MWAHAHAHAHA *sneeze* HAHAHAHA *cough*!!

*Angry Noise*

Why do I always end up driving behind people who think they have to break at the slightest curve?! 'You better slow it down Fred, we're already going all of 15 miles an hour, we don't want to run off the road' AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! There's nothing like getting behind ^that guy, and then getting passed by the 16 year old dumb shit in a neon purple toyota, driving in warp speed. Last time I checked, we weren't in Super Mario world, damn it.

...And is there EVER a good reason to go less than the speed limit (other than car problems or weather conditions)? No there is not. Enough said.

Let's not forget Mr. I'm-gonna-speed-up-when-you-try-to-pass-me, or Miss Under-5-feet-tall-blonde-fairy-lookin' woman driving a empty 15 passenger SUV, and taking up the entire road, or Mr. I-don't-understand-the-importance-of-turn-signals.

Now let's talk about Mr. I'm-too-busy-to-pay-attention-to-the-way-I'm-driving... This one really takes the cake.
Someone so engrossed in what they're doing, that they forget that they're also supposed to be driving a car. 'You mean it doesn't drive itself? Pffft! Yeah right!'
I actually encountered this one earlier. Pulled out of a used car lot directly in front of me. When I say 'directly in front of me' I don't mean that he was trying to beat the traffic, so he cut me off and went on. No of course not. I mean that the front of his car was sticking out halfway into my lane. And why you ask? Because, and I shit you not.. he was SNIFFING HIS FINGERS. I was so pissed off at the fact that he almost caused a big hairy wreck, that I didn't even laugh at the fact that this dumbass was sniffing his fingers. He didn't even stop that when I almost hit him. ASS!!

Yup...

I was at my nephew's graduation this afternoon, and one of their guest speakers used the poem 'Nothing Gold Can Stay' in his speech. I just wanted to get up and yell 'STAY GOLD PONYBOY!!!!' Nobody would have gotten the joke :( and I would have been escorted out by security. So I just kept that to myself.

It's been a shitty day.. Work Sucks

Really shitty..

So I opened the lab this morning at 8 (1-hour photo lab, for those who don't already know.) My machine ran out of chemicals, I had none and thus had to call another store to borrow some, I had nobody else coming in until 10, and shitloads of customers, with shitloads of film. Did I mention that the majority of shoppers are complete bitchwads?! Yes, yes they are. So at 11am, I finally get away from my store, going to the other store to borrow chemicals. I come out, put the chemicals in my car, turn my head for a SECOND, and the wind blows my car door shut. Of course I lock my car doors religiously, so yes, it was locked... WITH the SPARE KEY inside (that's another day and another totally shitty story). 45 minutes later, I stepped in a gigantic pile of gum strategically placed right next to my car... 5 minutes after that, the locksmith arrived (he was a total sweetheart.. couldn't have been nicer to me, even let me use his cell phone after mine went dead.) He had some trouble finding me, because as soon as I called them, 4 cars nearly EXACTLY the same as mine, parked in all corners of the parking lot.... what are the odds?!

Back on the road, I called my store to tell them I was finally on my way, called my mom to tell her I was okay, she was of course freaked out beyond belief at the thought of me standing next to my car alone in a mall parking lot. It didn't even cross my mind that anything bad would happen. I guess I was too peeved. Anyhoo, I stop at a red light, and one of the boxes of chemicals flips over into the front passenger floorboard, where I had spilled Mountain Dew earlier this morning. Great.

I spent the next several hours running around like a headless chicken, trying to get everyone's film done, and dealing with people who think they're the only ones who need film developed. That's what I don't understand; these people watch us running around like crazy trying to get all of our work done, yet they still think I should have their film out in 20 minutes. It's not like I'm standing there doing nothing but picking my nose or something. Ya know? Damn!

At 3, I finally got a chance to go to lunch, I ended up getting one of those pre-packaged sandwich thingies from the deli. Yeah I know, this mistake was totally on me. But it's not like I was buying sushi from a gas station vending machine!!... this sandwich actually looked good... turkey and swiss.. I can only assume that I was blinded by hunger. And wouldn't you know, it was frozen SOLID!!!! Thank God for that coco puffs cereal bar I ate on the way to the other store! Anyway, I drove around the parking lot for a while (I forgot to mention I always sit in my car during lunch.. just to get away from everyone) and I actually ended up getting a sweet parking space right up front. My day was looking better right? Of course not. I open the door to get out and some kid runs smack into it. She looked totally unfazed but I still apologized profusely.

So I went back into work, where I ran around crazed for the next 2 hours, dealing with all the assorted boneheads who think I'm their servant. Finally got a chance to leave around 6 (almost an hour and a half late), when I spotted a guy I always say Hi to, sitting on a bench at the front doors. He was mean to me once when he was looking for a stereo in electronics, but ever since then, he's been really nice. Anyway, I always say Hi when I see him. So today, he asks me where I live, because he was looking for someone to drive him 2 blocks to his house. I would never let a stranger in my car.. I've watched enough Court tv to know better.. that being said, I told him that I lived 25 minutes away (true) and that I had to get gas on the way home (false). I said I was sorry, and wished him a happy Memorial day. I can't tell you how BAD I felt. I totally lied to him. He probably tried walking home and had a heart attack or something. I still feel awful. Dammit.

Here's a tip for everyone....

Never eat Power Bar energy bars. More importantly, never wash them down with Mountain Dew. I should also add that you should never underestimate the freakish power of a *insert quoting gestures here* "Power Bar". So I was at work yesterday, contemplating which snack to buy on my break. Usually, a slim-fast trail mix granola bar does the trick just fine, but yesterday, fate intervened, and I decided on a "Power Bar" instead (mainly to save myself 3 grams of fat, but I digress..). I should have known better.. perhaps the words 'power' and 'energy' didn't sink in... 30 minutes, 2/3 of a chocolate Power Bar, and a Mountain Dew later, I'm seriously thinking my heart is about to explode. Only then did I decide to read the package... Only then did I find that you're not supposed to have any extra sources of caffeine with said "Power Bar" (by now you should have picked up on my anger towards the Power Bar). You're also supposed to have some sort of energy exerting activity planned before eating a "Power Bar". This does not mean standing around in a Walmart 1-Hour Photo Lab with no film to develop... waiting for customers to come around. So after several hours of re-enacting every Cornholio scene known to the Beavis and Butthead world, I went home and passed out. So ended my hellish experience with the power bar, or should I say... SATAN'S WHATCHAMACALLIT!! FIN!