Saturday, April 29, 2006
International House Of Conspiracy...
I'm plagued by IHOP commercials!! Just when I can fit back into my old jeans again!! Pfft! Is this some cruel twist of fate or what?? Haha I'd say diet be damned, but I have no idea where ihop is!! I might have to google-map it. Damn you International House Of Pancakes!!!! ..You and your tasty looking foodstuffs!! Damn you to hell!!
Thursday, April 27, 2006
ahhhhhhh crap...
had a shitty day at work...... I got moved to the desk directly behind my manager.. and why you ask? Well, I'm pretty sure I suck at this job. I'll spare you the lame details. "when sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions" .....damn straight Bill, damn straight. Eh, I'll crawl out of this hole tomorrow. In the meantime I'm gonna go drown my sorrows in cocoa pebbles. 
...I know the spark inside your eyes was just the match I used to set myself on fire...
Friday, April 21, 2006
I've decided that I need a signature drink...
yes, I think everyone should have 'their' drink. Only I haven't figured out exactly what mine should have in it. The only things I'm sure of... it needs vodka it has to be blue and it shall be called...... are you ready?? a Blueberry Bitchslap. Somebody get crackin'! I need a recipe, stat!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
ooooooeeeeeeeeoooo.. Killer Tofu
Today marked the beginning... and the end of my relationship with tofu. Since I know you want to hear aaaaaaall the details... I just happened to stroll into walmart when Roger was getting off work. Yup, Roger.. aka the coolest guy you'll ever meet... the guy with the greatest hippy drug tales you could ever hope to hear... the guy I went on the 'legit' ghost hunt (oh, excuse me 'paranormal investigation') with (that's another day and another bitchin story), I really can't say enough, he's been my best guy friend for damn near 6 years. ANYHOO!!! I hadn't seen him in forever so we decided to check out a new chinese place we'd heard about. I don't even know what it was called now...It might have had the word Dragon in it....actually, who cares.
I did however, laugh at the fact that I'm pretty sure the window just says 'Gourmet Buff'..unless I just couldn't see the whole thing. I'm actually suprised myself at the amount of jokes you can make about Gourmet Buff... and what kind of establishment it would be. Ha. I'm not sure if this is a widespread problem, but some people assume that the sneeze shield over the food also deflects your voice. Because there we were, in front of the mongolian potatoes (which were decent, by the way) and he's talking to me about how weird it is that there are mexicans working in a chinese restaurant. While that's pretty funny, I still can't stand five feet away from them and talk about it! Maybe I just have super freaky hearing, but I think I could hear someone talking about me from that distance. Ah well, I commend his fearlessness. <3 On to the tofu.. I knew immediately what it was, there's no mistaking those little cubes of pasty death...okay, so I didn't know they were cubes of pasty death yet, but I still knew it was tofu.
So I just throw out the usual.. 'Dare ya to eat some tofu'.... he says 'I will if you will' aHA! Counterattack! So you know I couldn't wuss out.. even if I did choose a cube on the smaller side. Honestly, they didn't actually look that bad, had some kind of garlicky sauce goin' on. So we throw back the tofu at the same time. Maybe that was a sign, because I've never seen a 'lets eat it at the same time' have a happy ending. Indeed.....the only word that comes to mind is 'squidgy'. Oh god, the horror..like a gym sock full of beans, rolled in some garlic.. all condensed into a tiny grey cube. I guess I can't blame anyone.. I mean, I've seen how they make tofu. What the hell was I thinking?! So we spent the next couple hours just walking around town, handing out loose change to the occasional transient, and looking at all the fake storefronts (they're filming a movie there, for those who don't know), and I actually fell in love with a fugly little retro chair in the window. I'm actually still wishing I had that chair.. honestly, you could build a room around it. Sorry, but I can't even describe it other than fugly retro.
Then it started to rain again. I LOVE THE RAIN! and Rog is probably the only one who'd keep walking with me. Sometimes there's just nothing better than walking around in the rain with nowhere in particular to go. Yeah, we got soaked, yes, we ended up looking like hell, but who cares! oh yeah, and about the restaurant, I'd tell you not to go there, cause the food isn't even that great and it's overpriced, but since I don't know the name, I guess I can't. Just avoid the place with 'Gourmet Buff' in the window. and that is all
I did however, laugh at the fact that I'm pretty sure the window just says 'Gourmet Buff'..unless I just couldn't see the whole thing. I'm actually suprised myself at the amount of jokes you can make about Gourmet Buff... and what kind of establishment it would be. Ha. I'm not sure if this is a widespread problem, but some people assume that the sneeze shield over the food also deflects your voice. Because there we were, in front of the mongolian potatoes (which were decent, by the way) and he's talking to me about how weird it is that there are mexicans working in a chinese restaurant. While that's pretty funny, I still can't stand five feet away from them and talk about it! Maybe I just have super freaky hearing, but I think I could hear someone talking about me from that distance. Ah well, I commend his fearlessness. <3 On to the tofu.. I knew immediately what it was, there's no mistaking those little cubes of pasty death...okay, so I didn't know they were cubes of pasty death yet, but I still knew it was tofu.
So I just throw out the usual.. 'Dare ya to eat some tofu'.... he says 'I will if you will' aHA! Counterattack! So you know I couldn't wuss out.. even if I did choose a cube on the smaller side. Honestly, they didn't actually look that bad, had some kind of garlicky sauce goin' on. So we throw back the tofu at the same time. Maybe that was a sign, because I've never seen a 'lets eat it at the same time' have a happy ending. Indeed.....the only word that comes to mind is 'squidgy'. Oh god, the horror..like a gym sock full of beans, rolled in some garlic.. all condensed into a tiny grey cube. I guess I can't blame anyone.. I mean, I've seen how they make tofu. What the hell was I thinking?! So we spent the next couple hours just walking around town, handing out loose change to the occasional transient, and looking at all the fake storefronts (they're filming a movie there, for those who don't know), and I actually fell in love with a fugly little retro chair in the window. I'm actually still wishing I had that chair.. honestly, you could build a room around it. Sorry, but I can't even describe it other than fugly retro.
Then it started to rain again. I LOVE THE RAIN! and Rog is probably the only one who'd keep walking with me. Sometimes there's just nothing better than walking around in the rain with nowhere in particular to go. Yeah, we got soaked, yes, we ended up looking like hell, but who cares! oh yeah, and about the restaurant, I'd tell you not to go there, cause the food isn't even that great and it's overpriced, but since I don't know the name, I guess I can't. Just avoid the place with 'Gourmet Buff' in the window. and that is all
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
A zillion random useless facts. Enjoy...
I wish more people did this, I know I like reading random crap about others...
~My favorite color is metallic blue
~I'm a Leo
~I hate those religious pamphlets that look like $20 bills.
~I hate the people who give out religious pamphlets that look like $20 bills.
~I'm in a good mood 95% of the time.
~I use the words Bitchin' and Sweet.... a lot
~I have a giant list of words and phrases I find funny, and would laugh at in any given moment.
~I made an ass of myself on the 'Mr. Cartoon' show, circa 1988. Thank god my parents accidentally taped over it with an episode of Geraldo.
~I am not a morning person. Any attempts to converse with me in the morning are completely futile.
~I don't like spending money... unless it's on shoes... and then only if they're really cool. *cough*NewRock*cough*
~Another strange money related Kari fact -- If I don't have any money, all the things that I like to do are automatically pushed to the forgotten crevices of my brain.. like sleep mode or something. For the simple fact that it sucks to think about all the things you want to do, but don't have the $$ for, and I'm not about to spend someone else's money on something I want to do. As soon as there's money in my pocket, it all comes flooding back. How weird is that?!
~I don't like talking on the phone. Probably the only chick who doesn't.
~People who leech off the government, or don't bathe piss me off.
~Close-minded people royally piss me off.
~I am deathly afraid of bears and sharks.
~I can't stand touching ice cubes. *shudder*
~I've got a story for everything.
~I named my old car Roxanne cause the interior lights were red.
~I hate food noises, or any gross noises in general.
~Contrary to popular belief, I am not on drugs, nor have I ever voluntarily done drugs.
~I always wonder what people are thinking when they look at me. I hope it isn't 'Damn, she's ugly!' that would suck!
~I love the word 'Pygmy' and try use it in general conversation as often as possible. EXAMPLE: "Bob was attacked by a rabid pygmy goat, and if we can't get the antidote, he'll turn into a pygmy goat at midnight... damn pygmy goats."
~I can't stand asking for help.
~It's nearly impossible to offend me, unless you're just straight out making fun of someone.
~If I'm not thinking of anything in particular, I end up looking totally pissed off. I guess this unnerves some people. Like it's my fault! I promise I'm not an evil bitch! Sometimes I catch myself, and I'll move my face around so I don't have the shoot to kill look.
~I'm a pack-rat.
~Sometimes I'll think of a song, and then get so into it that I start moving my head along with the music.
~My grandma has been dead for 14 years, but I still distinctly remember what she smelled like -- kleenex. Not fresh kleenex, but the ones you keep crumpled up in your coat pocket just in case. It bothers me that I can't remember her voice.
~My other grandma died 3 years ago, and when my dad called to tell me, I was in the middle of a dream about her funeral.
~My eyes are green, but there's some brown in there too, which has led to several arguments about what color they are. They're my eyes! I know what color they are!
~One of the coolest things I've ever seen was on the plane home from California, it was storming, I was listening to Led Zeppelin - Kashmir, and the lightning was going along with the song. Being in the sky, and watching it all light up like that probably kept me from having a coronary.
~I can't stand to cry. I'm pretty good at keeping it together unless someone tries to hug me. It's like, if I look like I'm gonna cry, don't touch me unless you're prepared to have me latched on to you for a while. I can say from experience.. most people aren't prepared for that.
~I love coffee, but I'm stupid when it comes to all this latte and espresso crap. Just give me regular coffee dammit!
~I was in girlscouts, but only for the cookies.
~My dog growls at anyone who tries to wake me up too early.
~I looooove theme parks.
~I can't eat in complete silence. I just can't. I need background noise.
~I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. I'm the baby
~I'm afraid of spiders, and if I kill one, I have to hide the body so it's little spider family won't seek revenge a la 'Arachnophobia'.
~I can't stand people who don't have a sense of humor.
~I can find humor in anything, but I also know when to be serious.
~I'm very sarcastic, and I've realized that not everyone is like that. There are also lots of people out there who can't take a joke. I hate those people.
~I love ranch salad dressing, and most anything ranch flavored.
~Trish has been my best friend for over 10 years
~My best guy friend is in his 50's, and one of the coolest people I've ever met.
~I can't dance. I'm even bad at slow dancing. The last guy I danced with told me just to stand on his feet and he'd do all the work. Talk about making me feel like an ass!!
~I love playing in the rain, but I never do it, because nobody else likes getting drenched in a downpour, and I don't want to do it by myself.
~ I have noticeable trouble saying 'Saturday Night Live'.
~I love trying foreign candy and fruit. I'm not into weird meats though. You should always know what you're eating when it comes to meats.
~I am a jerky fiend though.. beef, chicken, turkey.. it's all good.
~Overly sexual people bug me. Like they learned their entire vocabulary from a cheesy romance novel. You just don't use words like 'tender', 'juicy' etc.. unless you're talking about steak. Even then it still bugs me. Don't get me wrong here, I'm a total perv, but there's a time and place for everything, ya know?
~I think one of the best accessories is a pair of cool sunglasses.
~I've never seen a guy look bad in a military uniform or a tux.
~I can't use a public bathroom if the cracks between the stall doors are too wide. I've actually had nightmares about that.
~I'm somewhat ashamed of the fact that I sometimes confuse Star Wars afficianados with Star Trek fans. I'm sure calling a star wars fan a trekkie would be considered blasphemous enough to have me burned at the stake.
~I'm really good at figuring out who or what people look like. It's a blessing and a curse though, as no one ever wants to hear about the woman I worked with who looked like a cross between Gene Simmons and Rob Schneider.
FIN!!
~My favorite color is metallic blue
~I'm a Leo
~I hate those religious pamphlets that look like $20 bills.
~I hate the people who give out religious pamphlets that look like $20 bills.
~I'm in a good mood 95% of the time.
~I use the words Bitchin' and Sweet.... a lot
~I have a giant list of words and phrases I find funny, and would laugh at in any given moment.
~I made an ass of myself on the 'Mr. Cartoon' show, circa 1988. Thank god my parents accidentally taped over it with an episode of Geraldo.
~I am not a morning person. Any attempts to converse with me in the morning are completely futile.
~I don't like spending money... unless it's on shoes... and then only if they're really cool. *cough*NewRock*cough*
~Another strange money related Kari fact -- If I don't have any money, all the things that I like to do are automatically pushed to the forgotten crevices of my brain.. like sleep mode or something. For the simple fact that it sucks to think about all the things you want to do, but don't have the $$ for, and I'm not about to spend someone else's money on something I want to do. As soon as there's money in my pocket, it all comes flooding back. How weird is that?!
~I don't like talking on the phone. Probably the only chick who doesn't.
~People who leech off the government, or don't bathe piss me off.
~Close-minded people royally piss me off.
~I am deathly afraid of bears and sharks.
~I can't stand touching ice cubes. *shudder*
~I've got a story for everything.
~I named my old car Roxanne cause the interior lights were red.
~I hate food noises, or any gross noises in general.
~Contrary to popular belief, I am not on drugs, nor have I ever voluntarily done drugs.
~I always wonder what people are thinking when they look at me. I hope it isn't 'Damn, she's ugly!' that would suck!
~I love the word 'Pygmy' and try use it in general conversation as often as possible. EXAMPLE: "Bob was attacked by a rabid pygmy goat, and if we can't get the antidote, he'll turn into a pygmy goat at midnight... damn pygmy goats."
~I can't stand asking for help.
~It's nearly impossible to offend me, unless you're just straight out making fun of someone.
~If I'm not thinking of anything in particular, I end up looking totally pissed off. I guess this unnerves some people. Like it's my fault! I promise I'm not an evil bitch! Sometimes I catch myself, and I'll move my face around so I don't have the shoot to kill look.
~I'm a pack-rat.
~Sometimes I'll think of a song, and then get so into it that I start moving my head along with the music.
~My grandma has been dead for 14 years, but I still distinctly remember what she smelled like -- kleenex. Not fresh kleenex, but the ones you keep crumpled up in your coat pocket just in case. It bothers me that I can't remember her voice.
~My other grandma died 3 years ago, and when my dad called to tell me, I was in the middle of a dream about her funeral.
~My eyes are green, but there's some brown in there too, which has led to several arguments about what color they are. They're my eyes! I know what color they are!
~One of the coolest things I've ever seen was on the plane home from California, it was storming, I was listening to Led Zeppelin - Kashmir, and the lightning was going along with the song. Being in the sky, and watching it all light up like that probably kept me from having a coronary.
~I can't stand to cry. I'm pretty good at keeping it together unless someone tries to hug me. It's like, if I look like I'm gonna cry, don't touch me unless you're prepared to have me latched on to you for a while. I can say from experience.. most people aren't prepared for that.
~I love coffee, but I'm stupid when it comes to all this latte and espresso crap. Just give me regular coffee dammit!
~I was in girlscouts, but only for the cookies.
~My dog growls at anyone who tries to wake me up too early.
~I looooove theme parks.
~I can't eat in complete silence. I just can't. I need background noise.
~I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. I'm the baby
~I'm afraid of spiders, and if I kill one, I have to hide the body so it's little spider family won't seek revenge a la 'Arachnophobia'.
~I can't stand people who don't have a sense of humor.
~I can find humor in anything, but I also know when to be serious.
~I'm very sarcastic, and I've realized that not everyone is like that. There are also lots of people out there who can't take a joke. I hate those people.
~I love ranch salad dressing, and most anything ranch flavored.
~Trish has been my best friend for over 10 years
~My best guy friend is in his 50's, and one of the coolest people I've ever met.
~I can't dance. I'm even bad at slow dancing. The last guy I danced with told me just to stand on his feet and he'd do all the work. Talk about making me feel like an ass!!
~I love playing in the rain, but I never do it, because nobody else likes getting drenched in a downpour, and I don't want to do it by myself.
~ I have noticeable trouble saying 'Saturday Night Live'.
~I love trying foreign candy and fruit. I'm not into weird meats though. You should always know what you're eating when it comes to meats.
~I am a jerky fiend though.. beef, chicken, turkey.. it's all good.
~Overly sexual people bug me. Like they learned their entire vocabulary from a cheesy romance novel. You just don't use words like 'tender', 'juicy' etc.. unless you're talking about steak. Even then it still bugs me. Don't get me wrong here, I'm a total perv, but there's a time and place for everything, ya know?
~I think one of the best accessories is a pair of cool sunglasses.
~I've never seen a guy look bad in a military uniform or a tux.
~I can't use a public bathroom if the cracks between the stall doors are too wide. I've actually had nightmares about that.
~I'm somewhat ashamed of the fact that I sometimes confuse Star Wars afficianados with Star Trek fans. I'm sure calling a star wars fan a trekkie would be considered blasphemous enough to have me burned at the stake.
~I'm really good at figuring out who or what people look like. It's a blessing and a curse though, as no one ever wants to hear about the woman I worked with who looked like a cross between Gene Simmons and Rob Schneider.
FIN!!
I just wanna say, chili willi's SUCKS!
Ok, the waitress was nice, I'll give em that. But 3 bucks for a chicken taco?! CRIPES! And it didn't even taste like chicken! I'd bet the rest of my money it was turkey. Apparently, chili willi's is the kind of mexican restaurant that people with digestive problems frequent... like old people or something. 'I just want it to look like mexican food... but don't actually put any spices in it!'. You know, no offense to old people or anything. ha and to top it off, I guess their sewer gets backed up a lot. Go figure. We're waiting for our food, and I catch a whiff of that unholy sulfurous stench, that for a second makes you wonder if there's an exorcism going on in the back. But I guess there wasn't, unless the staff just passed it off as sewer probs. Hmmm. I SMELL A CHURCH COVER UP! and there's my rant of the day :) ORDER UP!!
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