BEAR SIGHTINGS... AT MY HOUSE... THAT'S RIGHT! BEARS! MY WORST FEAR! AT MY HOUSE!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! *HYPERVENTILATING* swear to god.. I'm so afraid of bears its not even funny! It's probably because I watched 'Grizzly' when I was a kid. Have you guys even seen 'Grizzly'?!?!?! Total 70's cheese about some gargantuan bloodthirsty maniac bear on a rampage. I say cheesy, but it totally scared the crap out of me.. nothing could get me to watch that movie EVER again!!! The bear was so huge, they couldn't kill it with guns.. if I remember correctly, they had to BLOW IT UP with a ROCKET LAUNCHER!!!!!
oh god.. SO scared of bears... I have nightmares about bears around my house all the time! AND NOW IT'S HAPPENING!!! no, it's not a huge bear, it's a small black bear.. like the size of a big dog. But do you think that matters to me?!?! CAUSE IT DOESN'T!!! this could only end badly.. it's not gonna be like 'The Great Outdoors', where John Candy shoots the hair off that bear's ass, and hilarity ensues... oh no... it's gonna be me spending all my money on bear repellent and guns (do they even make bear repellent?? do you know where I can find some??), then mistaking my neighbor's dog for the bear, assassinating it with completely unnecessary and over the top firepower, and ending up in jail for it. my entire life, nobody's ever mentioned seeing a bear in our general vicinity.. WHY do they have to come sniffin' around now!??!?!?!
AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! ok, I'm calming down, I'll be fine... I just need some bear repellent and some guns. maybe a rocket launcher.
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