Merry Frikkin' Christmas...

I don't like the holidays anymore. Ya know, I never thought I'd turn into one of those bitter old christmas hating hags, but here I am... I'm only 60 cats away from achieving my full 'old hag' potential. Well, okay 60 cats and about 40 years.. give or take a few. HA! It just doesn't feel like christmas anymore. I don't want to be a kid again, but I miss the innocence. I miss the magic of everything, before I had bills, when I could spend all day playing in the snow.. back when only old people died. We had a party for Dimebag last Tuesday. We all drank a black tooth in his honor. Got utterly smashed too. I had never tried Crown Royal, but we found it to be quite tasty actually. So we had almost half a bottle of that, plus half a bottle of my Stoli, plus half a bottle of Kamchatka vodka (sp?), which is russian for 'cheap'. I hadn't drank in nearly a year, so it obviously didn't take that much to get snookered (god I love that word!!). Most of the night is a blur now, except I do remember putting our shoes on our knees so we would look like midgets, and then we took pictures. I'm not sure how many screwdrivers (or Devildrivers, as we have renamed them..) I drank before we just starting drinking the vodka and crown royal straight. I do remember the phrase 'I love you man!!! Gimme a hug!!' being used.. a lot. Which is funny, because I didn't really think I was the affectionate type. Just depends I guess. and you would think that I'd have some horrific hangover. WELL I DIDN'T!! You know what the secret is?? TOTINO'S PIZZA ROLLS!! No less than twenty-five though. That is a definite number. Seriously. I felt great the next day, aside from being really sore. I'm one of those clumsy drunks. I prefer to crawl around rather than walk and fall into stuff, although I always end up bruised and sore anyways. Eh well, I'd write more if I remembered more, but I don't.

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness"

Hello.. my name is Kari... and I keep a dustbuster in my car

Yeah that's right. I'm not ashamed anymore. Since I bought my car, I've become a total neat freak about it. Gravel and mud are my enemies! So if I have to keep a dustbuster in the car at all times, so be it! The other day at work, I was vacuuming during my lunch break. Some guy slowed down as he drove past and gave me the ol' 'are you crazy?!' look. Gotta love that one! I guess it did look pretty strange though. haha

People piss me off...

I'm constantly disappointed by the way people treat each other. I spend all day people watching (yeah, while I work.. what can I say, I'm a good multi-tasker!) .. seeing people treat their spouses, children, and basically anyone within the general vicinity, like shit. I take a lot of crap at work, but if a guy I was dating talked to me the way some of these guys talk to their girls, "he'd better be wearin' a cup". (Who said THAT one!?! YEAH!! 3 points for me!) I think everyone should work at least a year in retail. Maybe then, we wouldn't have so many assholes roaming the isles.. just waiting to treat someone like dirt. Perhaps I should just become some sort of superhero... save poor defenseless retail workers from asshole shoppers. RETAIL GIRL TO THE RESCUE!!! FIGHTING RUDENESS - ONE OLD HAG AT A TIME!!! Actually, that should probably be a last resort.. I don't look that hot in tights. heh heh Seriously though, maybe if these people knew what it was like to spend all day, every day dealing with this crap, they would think twice about putting someone else through it. Thank you, Thank you No applause

Siiiiiiiiick...

I have another cold. Who the hell gets a cold in the summertime? Me. Okay that was too easy. and all I wanna know, is where's my sexy male nurse?? Huh? eh, you know that's just the cold medicine talkin'... or is it? MWAHAHAHAHA *sneeze* HAHAHAHA *cough*!!

*Angry Noise*

Why do I always end up driving behind people who think they have to break at the slightest curve?! 'You better slow it down Fred, we're already going all of 15 miles an hour, we don't want to run off the road' AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! There's nothing like getting behind ^that guy, and then getting passed by the 16 year old dumb shit in a neon purple toyota, driving in warp speed. Last time I checked, we weren't in Super Mario world, damn it.

...And is there EVER a good reason to go less than the speed limit (other than car problems or weather conditions)? No there is not. Enough said.

Let's not forget Mr. I'm-gonna-speed-up-when-you-try-to-pass-me, or Miss Under-5-feet-tall-blonde-fairy-lookin' woman driving a empty 15 passenger SUV, and taking up the entire road, or Mr. I-don't-understand-the-importance-of-turn-signals.

Now let's talk about Mr. I'm-too-busy-to-pay-attention-to-the-way-I'm-driving... This one really takes the cake.
Someone so engrossed in what they're doing, that they forget that they're also supposed to be driving a car. 'You mean it doesn't drive itself? Pffft! Yeah right!'
I actually encountered this one earlier. Pulled out of a used car lot directly in front of me. When I say 'directly in front of me' I don't mean that he was trying to beat the traffic, so he cut me off and went on. No of course not. I mean that the front of his car was sticking out halfway into my lane. And why you ask? Because, and I shit you not.. he was SNIFFING HIS FINGERS. I was so pissed off at the fact that he almost caused a big hairy wreck, that I didn't even laugh at the fact that this dumbass was sniffing his fingers. He didn't even stop that when I almost hit him. ASS!!

Yup...

I was at my nephew's graduation this afternoon, and one of their guest speakers used the poem 'Nothing Gold Can Stay' in his speech. I just wanted to get up and yell 'STAY GOLD PONYBOY!!!!' Nobody would have gotten the joke :( and I would have been escorted out by security. So I just kept that to myself.

It's been a shitty day.. Work Sucks

Really shitty..

So I opened the lab this morning at 8 (1-hour photo lab, for those who don't already know.) My machine ran out of chemicals, I had none and thus had to call another store to borrow some, I had nobody else coming in until 10, and shitloads of customers, with shitloads of film. Did I mention that the majority of shoppers are complete bitchwads?! Yes, yes they are. So at 11am, I finally get away from my store, going to the other store to borrow chemicals. I come out, put the chemicals in my car, turn my head for a SECOND, and the wind blows my car door shut. Of course I lock my car doors religiously, so yes, it was locked... WITH the SPARE KEY inside (that's another day and another totally shitty story). 45 minutes later, I stepped in a gigantic pile of gum strategically placed right next to my car... 5 minutes after that, the locksmith arrived (he was a total sweetheart.. couldn't have been nicer to me, even let me use his cell phone after mine went dead.) He had some trouble finding me, because as soon as I called them, 4 cars nearly EXACTLY the same as mine, parked in all corners of the parking lot.... what are the odds?!

Back on the road, I called my store to tell them I was finally on my way, called my mom to tell her I was okay, she was of course freaked out beyond belief at the thought of me standing next to my car alone in a mall parking lot. It didn't even cross my mind that anything bad would happen. I guess I was too peeved. Anyhoo, I stop at a red light, and one of the boxes of chemicals flips over into the front passenger floorboard, where I had spilled Mountain Dew earlier this morning. Great.

I spent the next several hours running around like a headless chicken, trying to get everyone's film done, and dealing with people who think they're the only ones who need film developed. That's what I don't understand; these people watch us running around like crazy trying to get all of our work done, yet they still think I should have their film out in 20 minutes. It's not like I'm standing there doing nothing but picking my nose or something. Ya know? Damn!

At 3, I finally got a chance to go to lunch, I ended up getting one of those pre-packaged sandwich thingies from the deli. Yeah I know, this mistake was totally on me. But it's not like I was buying sushi from a gas station vending machine!!... this sandwich actually looked good... turkey and swiss.. I can only assume that I was blinded by hunger. And wouldn't you know, it was frozen SOLID!!!! Thank God for that coco puffs cereal bar I ate on the way to the other store! Anyway, I drove around the parking lot for a while (I forgot to mention I always sit in my car during lunch.. just to get away from everyone) and I actually ended up getting a sweet parking space right up front. My day was looking better right? Of course not. I open the door to get out and some kid runs smack into it. She looked totally unfazed but I still apologized profusely.

So I went back into work, where I ran around crazed for the next 2 hours, dealing with all the assorted boneheads who think I'm their servant. Finally got a chance to leave around 6 (almost an hour and a half late), when I spotted a guy I always say Hi to, sitting on a bench at the front doors. He was mean to me once when he was looking for a stereo in electronics, but ever since then, he's been really nice. Anyway, I always say Hi when I see him. So today, he asks me where I live, because he was looking for someone to drive him 2 blocks to his house. I would never let a stranger in my car.. I've watched enough Court tv to know better.. that being said, I told him that I lived 25 minutes away (true) and that I had to get gas on the way home (false). I said I was sorry, and wished him a happy Memorial day. I can't tell you how BAD I felt. I totally lied to him. He probably tried walking home and had a heart attack or something. I still feel awful. Dammit.

Here's a tip for everyone....

Never eat Power Bar energy bars. More importantly, never wash them down with Mountain Dew. I should also add that you should never underestimate the freakish power of a *insert quoting gestures here* "Power Bar". So I was at work yesterday, contemplating which snack to buy on my break. Usually, a slim-fast trail mix granola bar does the trick just fine, but yesterday, fate intervened, and I decided on a "Power Bar" instead (mainly to save myself 3 grams of fat, but I digress..). I should have known better.. perhaps the words 'power' and 'energy' didn't sink in... 30 minutes, 2/3 of a chocolate Power Bar, and a Mountain Dew later, I'm seriously thinking my heart is about to explode. Only then did I decide to read the package... Only then did I find that you're not supposed to have any extra sources of caffeine with said "Power Bar" (by now you should have picked up on my anger towards the Power Bar). You're also supposed to have some sort of energy exerting activity planned before eating a "Power Bar". This does not mean standing around in a Walmart 1-Hour Photo Lab with no film to develop... waiting for customers to come around. So after several hours of re-enacting every Cornholio scene known to the Beavis and Butthead world, I went home and passed out. So ended my hellish experience with the power bar, or should I say... SATAN'S WHATCHAMACALLIT!! FIN!