Oooh yeah, I forgot...

I took that last blog down before I told anybody what that song was. It's one of those things I totally meant to do immediately, and now here we are, over a week later, and the five people who even cared about the blog have probably long since forgotten it.

Anyway! Yes, on to the song! Here it is again, just in case you didn't see it before...

hmm, ok, it won't let me post the player here. So for the sake of including it to have some reference to last week's blog, here's the link... click it if you feel like clicking. If you don't, then don't. I don't mind...

The Song From Last Week's Blog, a.k.a Paul Williams - Flying Dreams

A few of you (who didn't know what the song was) expressed great concern that I was turning into the "biggest sap on the planet". Unfortunately, I didn't consider what you would be thinking when you heard such a syrupy *spit* loooooooooooove song on my page. Well rest assured, my dear readers and faithful friends, that no, I have not turned into a great big sappy, mushy, love song-filled pile of emotional shit. NO! In fact it is quite the opposite. However I will tell you that I have reached some level of Mecha Nerditry with this one. That's because it just happens to be from The Secret Of Nimh, which of course is a bitchin' movie I watched a zillion times as a child. I loved that song then, which was ok, cause I was 4 or 5, and was allowed to be in love with such sickeningly sweet compositions. I'm still allowed to love it today only because it's been grandfathered in. I might even have to burn it to cd so I can listen to it in the car to really appreciate the backing strings. I love violins and cello. WORD!

I'm also pretty big on trivia, and I knew that would throw some people for a loop, which it did. Maybe too big of a loop though. Overshot that one pretty far, as only 2 people recognized it. The others were simply worried for my sanity, and that crusty exterior I like to keep around my tasty and somewhat vulnerable little gummy-heart. Everyone else that may have read it probably just kept their mouths shut and tried to forget they ever saw it! HA! Not to fear! All is safe, well-controlled and well-protected. Not even a Paul Williams soundtrack ditty from way back in '82 can change that! ha HA! And the day is mine! well kinda...

That brings me to another point.. DAMN it's hard to get a job. Maybe I should add a few things to that.. DAMN it's hard to get a job when you're a college dropout with no super awesome skills to speak of. Well ok, I DO have some super awesome skills, but they don't translate into a good resume. I suppose. It's just a good thing that freelance work for the super cool sis-in-law is picking up again.

Still, you wouldn't believe the jobs that I have applied for in the weeks that I have been sending my rickety ol' resume out, and NOTHING! NOTHING to be heard back from these places. I find that pretty rude actually. I'd MUCH rather hear (or read) "Thanks Kari, but we're gonna pass on you"...... or "Thanks, but NO, Kari" or "Yeah, how bout 'No', Kari" or even "No, I'm sorry, you are TOTALLY unqualified for this job Kari. I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to say this as a salaried representative of Company X, but you suck. There, I said it, you just suck. I've actually just lit your resume on fire."... ya know? I can handle pretty much anything except getting NO RESPONSE AT ALL!

As for the jobs themselves, I have applied for a nice, well-rounded variety, with the highest points being as follows -- the bitchin' sales job at a "growing medical spa" in Ashland, namely Smooth Solutions located somewhere in the abyss of Bellefonte Hospital. They win the award for "First Company to IGNORE Kari". So if you are reading this, Smooth Solutions, which would be really funny if you were.. like if all the employees could form into one giant monster named Smooth Solutions that possessed enough manual dexterity to work a mouse and navigate the internet... anyway, if you're reading this, Smooth Solutions, YOU SUCK!

Next up was a sales rep for some eyeglasses company. That one would have been mildly cool. There was a small amount of travel involved, and perhaps a bitchin' discount on sunglasses. Ah, another dead end. There were a few more in between, but none as cool as the Dental Assistant job I applied for a couple weeks ago. Ok, yes, THAT one was kind of a bummer.

Probably because I almost went into a program for Dental Techs some time ago (which is different than an assistant, yes, but in the same industry, so go with me here). Not that I necessarily like working with people, but I figure it would have been a great place to let my obsessive compulsive tendencies shine. I seriously got a little giddy at the idea of laying out tools. YES! IT'S TRUE! I was already envisioning a tray of useful dental tools, ALL pointing the same way and having an equal distance in between! I can't help it, I like order, and I like having a set schedule and a set list of tasks. This is because I like to spend my time making that routine better, faster, and more efficient; because I'm a geek. It's the reason I know that the least amount of time it takes to process a roll of film was only 20 minutes from start to finish, instead of much longer, as we used to tell our customers at wal-mart. This was of course doing it as fast as I could and this was also circa 2005, so things could have changed by now. Plus, that's not counting the workload or the douchebag customers congregating at the counter. Anyway, back to the land of happy little dental assistants. Yes, order and set schedules, and teeth,

AND...
AND!!!

There was lab stuff involved!!! LIKE MOLDS AND STUFF! HEAVEN! The fact that I own my own monster-makers acrylic dental kit, and use it every so often to make a sweet set of fangs or other weird creature teeth was something I really couldn't add into a resume or cover letter. However, I fully intended to gush about my crude amateur dentistry in an interview, and maybe even try to hypnotize them with some carefully planned eyeshadow. Look at the eyes, not the resume! Alas, it was not to be. Another LETS-IGNORE-KARI award and a shoutout goes to Straitsmiles (or something that sounded like it) somewhere in the abyss of Russell. I bite my thumb at you, Straitsmiles! A plague on your dental practice! Even though I've given up and moved on to different things. I won't include the most recent job-ap, which was for a bank teller position, because there has not been ample time for them to officially ignore me yet. HA! So to everyone else, yes, a plague on all your houses! *insert more thumb-biting here*

Ok, maybe I don't really mean that. I realize that all applicants at this stage are a mere sheet of paper, and mine doesn't happen to be as schnazzy, or as long, or probably as qualified as the rest. I don't deny, you know I testify. I'll be completely honest and say that if I were a recruiter or an employer, that IS how I would probably treat it too. I'd probably look at that resume and think 'riiiiiiiiiiight'......

...'riiiiiiiight into the garbage!'

and this is where the internet and new-fangled technology has done me wrong. It really IS just a sheet of paper, or an email, or a short and to-the-point message with a smiley face here on the interwebs. Completely lacking in personal flare, and I can only assume that must be why EVERY single thing I'm after lately seems to be completely and utterly immune to the Kari-Flare, which I must rectify, post-haste!

did I mention the Kari-Flare is sparkly and smells like Gucci II and candy? Everyone loves candy, right? RIGHT!

Anyway, on to the rectification!
but how......

I'll have to think on that one for a while.

~You open your eyes and stare into mine, a stare like your's is hard to find; its ultraviolet. You close your eyes and breathe. I feel your lips, you hit the switch.~

Random Music Memories..

Well, the start of it anyway.

These aren't 'the greatest songs ever' or 'the deepest thoughts about the greatest songs ever', nor are they in any particular order. I was just thinking the other day, that so many of my memories are attatched to certain songs. I guess it was bound to happen, random songs are playing in my head nearly all the time. Anyway, the main purpose of this is really just to get some of my memories -- however strange they may be -- documented. I've got this fear of getting alzheimer's and forgetting my entire life. Even the small stuff.

I figured some of you may be bored enough to get a kick out of some randomness, so why not post them here??

haha I know *I* like reading things like this about other people. anyway, here goes -- I'll be adding more when I think of them.

OOH, I almost forgot -- the name of the song is a link to the mp3, just in case you're REALLY bored, or haven't heard the songs --just right click and open it in a different window

. ....aaaaaaaaaand ACTION!!

The Highwaymen - Highwayman

Ah, a favorite since I was a kid. I remember being absolutely blown away by the video because their faces were in the sky. (ya know, cause I was a little kid!). One of my absolute favorite lines ever is Johnny Cash's "or I may simply be a single drop of rain". But more important is Waylon Jennings' verse.. his verse is the point of the song I can't make it past without getting a little misty. Mainly because he's always reminded me of my dad, and even though the song is about livingon after death, it's basically still about death, and it's still a huge reminder to me that someday, everyone I love IS going to die.

"I was a dam builder, across the river deep and wide
Where steel and water did collide
A place called Boulder on the wild Colorado
I slipped and fell into the wet concrete below
They buried me in that great tomb that knows no sound
But I am still around, I'll always be around"

Gah, it KILLS me! Every single time! Oddly enough, I always hear 'Grey Tomb' instead of great. It just sounds better to me, so I guess my brain automatically changes it.

and going hand in hand with Highwayman, is always gonna be Pancho & Lefty, even though it was just Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard. I don't really have a big write up on this one, just to say that "The day they laid poor Pancho low, Lefty split for O-hi-o; where he got the bread to go, there ain't nobody knows" is another one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE lines.

I must have watched a lot of the country music channel when I was really little, cause now that I'm thinking hard about this, I remember how much I loved Anne Murray's 'Time don't run out on me', the song was good and I thought the video was cool too. Oh god, and Lee Greenwood's 'Proud to be an american'.. shame on me, but my clear memory of this song, revolves around how I used to just pick up our phone and dial the operator, just to hang up on them. This video was playing once as I harrassed yet another poor telephone operator.

Can you still dial '0' and get an operator these days??? Probably not, and probably because of kids like me. I'll have to check that out.

A-ha - Take On Me

Don't even try to tell me every single one of you (who were alive in the 80's and were old enough to have control over your hands) didn't learn this little ditty on your keyboard .. and I'm sure that keyboard was a casio, and a couple years later I'm sure you probably wished that same keyboard was the kind with a guitar strap like that dude had in Psuedo Echo's cover of Funkytown, instead of just a tabletop model. Hell, maybe some of you even tried to MacGyver it, by tying kite string to your keyboard that broke as soon as it was tested, thus rendering several critical buttons on the console useless or missing.. IF the whole board itself didn't crap out.

Yeah, ok, fine.. my brother and I tried it.

& I'm sure that I'm the only one who thinks the singer was hotter as a cartoon, cause cartoons can pull off the sweaty look and not be gross.. when he went back to being human, he was just, well.. sweaty (...what?? there are only a handfull of situations where it's acceptable to be a sweaty human.. and my brain says this video, even though he's running all the way thru it, doesn't count!). I'm even more sure that I'm one of maybe two people that still know the guy's name is Morten... the other person being my old photo lab manager, Charlie - aka King of 80's Music Trivia.

WHERE ARE YOU CHARLIE?!?!

*PHOTO LAB GANG SIGN*

Ozzy Osbourne - Old L.A. Tonight

I freakin love this song, even though the memory attatched to it is pretty bad. So the song is in my opinion, the very last of any great Ozzy material. Hardcore fans would probably nail me to the cross for saying that! Anyway, this is one of those never-forget-what-you-were-doing-at-that-exact-moment stories.

It was the year I was a sophomore in highschool, my brother Joe was a junior, and he was driving an electric-blue camaro, with those fuzzy, white tiger-stripe seat covers (that I later inherited, and still have, and should put in my car but I don't want them to ruin. bah!) oh, and a pair of handcuffs hanging from the rearview mirror (which I also inherited, still have, and considered hanging them from my mirror, but decided I might be sending the wrong message with that), it always smelled like his cologne, and was always roughly the same temperature as a hospital morgue, give or take a couple degrees. I don't care what season it is or ever was, the air conditioner in my brother's car was and always will be blasting. COOL AS ICE!

We were on our way to school that morning, come up on the straight stretch leading to the park (which really shouldn't be called a park, cause it's essentially a rest stop with more grassy area than most others), and as we get closer, traffic is creeping, flashing lights everywhere, with every manner of emergency personnel camped in between the little grocery store and the actual park itself, which is just up the road a bit (for those that don't know the area, the park was where we'd make the left turn to be on the school road).

Turns out, two girls in my class were at the store, waiting for the bus, when they were ambushed by a guy that one of the girls had just broken up with. He shot her there, and then ran to the park and shot himself. He was a couple years older than us, and the only memory I have of him prior to this was watching someone pay him to eat earthworms on the junior high parking lot when I was in 6th grade.

She survived, and he lasted a couple days in a coma, I believe.

I can still see this in my head.. and I'll never, ever forget inching past that park, with all the lights going crazy, and seeing him lying there in police tape as the last chorus of this song played.

Yes - Owner Of A Lonely Heart

oh crap I love this song so much. I decided a while back that it's probably my favorite ever, just because I've listened to it for over 20 years and never gotten sick of it. Back when the disney channel was still pretty good, they had a video put to this song.. for years and years I thought it was a bunch of cartoon dog clips (pluto, lady & the tramp.. etc..) but I found a write up about it the other day, and apparently it was clips from an elephant cartoon. Either way, I'd kill to have it. I guess disney released 3 d-tv videos, and of course youtube has the other 2 that I DON'T care about. Gah, seems like this one's gonna be almost as hard to track down as Clyde the Safety Frog (if you remember THAT one, you gain automatic brownie points with me) --- as far as that one goes, I'm about to contact the tv station where it originated. Oh god, I really AM that nerdy.

Everlast & Santana - Put Your Lights On

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who even liked this song. I don't like Carlos Santana, and of all the duets he was doing that year, Put Your Lights On was by far the best, IMO. That same Halloween, after I graduated highschool, a guy I'd had a huge and lingering junior-high crush on was killed in a car accident. This song was playing a few days later, just as I drove past what looked like his smashed truck at a body shop near my house. I remember (and will forever appreciate) him always being nice to me anytime he was around, at a point when it could have very easily been the opposite. I hung with a vicious crowd of girls in those days (Ever watch 'Heathers'?? Yeah...) and since I don't make fun of people unless they deserve it or will think it's funny, I spent my junior-high prison term fending off whatever it took for them to feel better about themselves.

I'm sad to say that guys can be so easily roped into being part of some pretty heinous pranks. & so many were.

People always wonder how anyone could end up caught in a situation like that, but that's any kind of abusive relationship.. Things are fine, and then one day you look around, and you're in a hole so deep you're not sure you can crawl back out. No matter how tough anyone is.. somewhere along the line, you'll lose yourself, and you'll believe whatever they're saying about you. Maybe worse is that you stop trusting anything good, and start thinking that everyone who is nice to you or acts like they like you, must be in on some kind of joke, and it's only a matter of time before the bomb drops.

I'd say that's the hardest thing to get past.

Anyway.. another song marked forever.

Bryan Ferry - Is Your Love Strong Enough

Ah yes, the best song off the Legend soundtrack. (no talk of other sountracks to this movie!! this is the only one I count!) I never get sick of this song either. Granted, the video is stupid, but it comes from one of the best movies ever.. even if Tom Cruise DID spend a good portion of it covered in glitter. Actually, it may have been his best role.. hmm. Aside from just loving this song, it's included because for some reason, I have dumb memories attatched to this cd purchase.

Does anyone want to know the reason I don't have enough room in my brain for anything past basic mathematics????
Guesses???

No, you're wrong.. it's because I remember buying this cd.. on february 7th, 1997 to be nerdily exact. It was Trish's 16th birthday, she skipped school.. which, conveniently happened to be shark-disecting day in biology. At least I was there with Ann, who was actually always a little too excited about disecting anything in biology, as she took such joy in hacking off bits that wouldn't be easily missed by our teacher, and then hiding them in strategic areas all around the school. Anyway, we met up with Trish later that evening to celebrate.. first by going to Rio Grande for munchies.. swear to god, I still remember what I ordered... WHY GOD?!?!

It was the enchilada platter, if you wanna know. AND somebody in the kitchen dropped an eyelash in the nachos... which I wasn't told about until AFTER I'd eaten a bunch of them.

Then it was on to the mall.... and yes, the cd. Picture it -- Ashland Town Center mall, in NRM, looking like a cross between a young Roseanne Barr and a gay lumberjack. (Picture it! hilarious! I still love flannel shirts, but I actually wore them in public back then. whatever.) Can you imagine my elation when I found this cd for six bucks?? I'm so easy to please, it's SICK!! Six bucks.. that's why I loved NRM. I was sad when they left.

Sisters of Mercy - Cry Little Sister

Ah, another NRM gem... I got this one on cassette for five bucks. I figure some of you are laughing at the cassette part. I don't mind, I'm consistently behind the times.. I didn't even buy a dvd player until peer pressure got the best of me. I would have just stuck with my crappy old vcr.. which I NEVER learned how to program, by the way. Anyway, this song's probably the best thing to come from The Lost Boys soundtrack. I find it strange that Corey Feldman still looks EXACTLY the same as he did then.. does he sleep in tupperware or something?! Why didn't Jason Patrick do that? Pfft!

So I spent that entire summer blasting this song anytime I was driving at night, usually coming home from Trish's after hanging out way too long in her pool. Actually, I just remembered, this song was playing the time we decided to see how long my cavalier would coast on one of the roads around lake vesuvius. We came to a stop right outside some dude's garage, he just happened to be in there. Probably confused the crap out of him too.. he looked at us, we looked at him, maybe 10 seconds passed, and then realized what we were doing and floored it.

About 10 seconds after THAT, we realized how funny the whole thing was, and so, the famed 'country drive-by' was born.

...good times.

FIN!!!
for now anyway!

......Alright.. so there's the first installment. Hope you at least got one or two laughs out of that. I'll be waiting for everyone else's 'random memories' blog. CHOP CHOP!! ;)

"..In a noisy bar in Avalon, I tried to call you
But on a midnight watch I realized why twice you ran away.."

Goin’ places that I’ve never been, Seein’ things that I may never see again...

What's that?? Two blogs in one evening? Am I crazy??

Well, yes.. But I'm also chock full of useless ramble tonight, so I might as well tell you all that I finally managed to get out on another roadtrip a couple weeks ago.. YEAH! and here it is, in all it's unnecessarily detailed glory!!

Well, I guess it was technically a daytrip.. Trish and I trucked it a couple hours up the highway to check out Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D Yes it was a short trip, and no, all did not go as planned, but it was what it was, and just like all of our roadtrips, hilarity did indeed ensue. beginning with the rental car. Yeah, I rented a car! I love renting cars.. But the fact that Enterprise closes at noon on Saturdays somehow escaped me. I don't really think it was my fault though, because if you close at noon, why would your website let people schedule pickups AT noon?! It makes no sense! So the guy calls me at like, 11:35 to make sure I'm still gonna pick up the car, and inform me that they close early on Saturday.

CRAP! I was still in my christmas-themed pajama pants for god's sake! Somehow, I managed to make it in there at EXACTLY noon, albeit looking like total crap because I require more than 10 minutes to get decently ready. Walk in, hand over the required driver's license / credit card Verification Combo, and the guy says '......pretty'... and I think to myself '.....uhhhh, what?'... then after a split second, I remember what cards he has, and just assume he's talking about my license, because I look good in that picture, and he's trying to let me know that it's clear that I don't always look like a big fat pile of hell.

And it's lucky that my face remained frozen in the confused look, and didn't transition into the 'oh, I get it' look, because seconds later he realized what he'd said, and the different ways it could have been taken, and followed up with '..the whole water thing'.....which is when it became clear that No, bless his heart, I hadn't gotten what he was saying. He wasn't referring to my license, he was referring to my bitchin', sparkly blue, water-themed Capitol One Visa!!!!!

Priceless! My life should be a sitcom! And it doesn't end there!

So the super awesome Enterprise dude (who shall remain nameless, cause he gave me a sweet deal on the car.) ends up giving me a brand new Sebring, even though I requested a couple classes below that. Anyway, has anyone seen the door handles on a Sebring? Car door handles that lift out like that are totally alien to me.. I had a hard enough time getting used the handles on those stupid Berettas. So I fidget with the door for about 10 seconds before I decide to swallow my sharp and rusty pride, and ask the guy how to get in the freakin' car. Just as I do, it comes open. So it was like 'GAH! How do you op.........oh'.

THEN, I forgot the most crucial step in car rentery... taking a few moments to assess the inner workings of this unfamiliar vehicle... MISTAKE!!! Cause I back out in the street, think I have it in drive, only to rev the engine in that embarrassing 'oh god, I'm in neutral' way. Then I flounder around for a minute, and eventually get it in drive... only to hear a familiar tick-tick tick-tick noise. You know, the one you don't hear very often, so when you do, it takes you a few seconds to realize you have the HAZARD LIGHTS ON!!!!! and then it takes you 10 times as long to figure out how to turn them off. Maybe it's just me, but I think the hazard lights should be somewhere on the steering wheel, or at least in a place that isn't easily accessible, instead of being directly below the stereo, in full reach of any passenger, or perhaps a driver who hasn't scoped out all of the gadgetry on a car she's driving for the first time. Any button that is so easily pressed, is never so easily found again, even if it's in plain sight. That's the law, and that's the reason I drove an embarrassing number of city blocks with the hazard lights on.

Moving on to Sunday morning.. We had actually planned to get an earlier start, and spend the day puttering around another unfamiliar city, even checked out some local tattoo places in the hopes that we'd suddenly find the intestinal fortitude to get our noses pierced. But that was not to be, as an extremely unfortunate encounter with my Lady Schick triple-blade razor left me wimpering in my bathtub like a small child. Who knew I was a bleeder? Who knew I apparently still cannot handle the sight of my own blood? ....NOT ME, That's who! Needless to say, the time it took me to stop the bleeding while trying NOT to pass out, set me back longer than it should have.

We still made it there pretty early though... I really didn't realize how easy it was to get there, all this time I thought it would be more difficult than it actually is. Strange how the universe works. Our plan was to drive straight to the theater first, and then scope out the local eateries, cause neither of us had eaten that day, and Trish had been up for at least 24 hours straight by that point. (That's right... she'd been up that long, and was still right there with me. How awesome is THAT?!) So out of all the fast-food joints we had to choose from, we made the mistake of going with Arby's.....like I said, MISTAKE!

There were at least three employees that were just standing around (well, three that I could see, anyway), two customers who had obviously been waiting a while, and a rather large spot of dried soda, with one of those 'wet floor' signs beside it. We should have turned and walked out immediately.. Ah, hindsight. Trish ordered fries.. That was it, just a large order of fries, and I shit you not, it took the guy upwards of TEN minutes to get them! Were they making fresh ones? NO! It took him that long to waltz his lazy ass over to a pile of old lukewarm fries. So she goes to find a table, and leaves me there another ten minutes waiting for the ham & cheese I ordered right after her fries. By that time, there were at least five other customers there, who were just standing around, while the laziest Arby's employees on the planet played the 'lets see how long we can make these people wait before someone goes postal' game. I don't know if anyone flipped out after I finally got my food, but I wouldn't have been suprised. The food itself was pretty gross too, so we ended up just throwing it away.. Ah well, it was our fault for not trusting our guts. Lesson learned.

Moving on, we get back to the theater, and find the little kiosk thing you use when you've preordered tickets. Here's a tip for ya.. When you put in your confirmation number, just know that within half a second, it's gonna start spewing tickets in hyper speed. Which is exactly what it did, so Trish and I are flailing around, trying desperately to grab the tickets... much like one of those money tubes that lottery and game shows used to have, where you're flailing like a jackass for $1's and $5's while the audience points and laughs.

Finally make it to our seats... (are any of you suddenly hearing the 'hallelujah' chorus? HA!), and I know we had to have spent AT LEAST a good five minutes laughing at how stupid we looked in those 3D glasses. The glasses were so huge, it prompted my Harry Caray impersonation (or rather, me impersonating Will Ferrell impersonating Harry Caray.. don't ask, cause you'll probably never get to see it!). so I guess it's good that I was in a theater full of people I never have to see again. Ah, I don't think anyone heard it anyway. Let us hope. I gotta say, if I hadn't already really liked Nightmare Before Christmas, this probably would have been a letdown, and it kinda was.. Only slightly, and that's probably just because it managed to give me a rancid headache. But that's what I get for running out of contacts, and refusing to wear my glasses underneath giant 3D glasses. My bad. The drive home was pretty uneventful, I was trying not to fall asleep, and Trish was trying not to go delirious from lack of sleep.

And so, another bitchin' roadtrip has come and gone, and now I need another one.

And with that, friends and neighbors, I'm out!

FIN!!!

"...Leaves are falling all around, Its time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, Im much obliged for such a pleasant stay.
But now its time for me to go, the autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and its headed my way..."

It’s a shame to waste all this empty space...

Five minutes ago, I was laying in bed, replaying my week... ya know, like I usually do, when it suddenly occurred to me that I sleep like I'm sharing my bed. Very strange. All these years I've been content with my cozy little right-side spot (my right, not yours), while completely ignoring the entire left side. And why? What am I doing?! I should be utilizing this extra space that so many significant others secretly wish for.

I bet a lot of people sleep this way. Well NO MORE! It's a Revolution people! What are we all waiting for?? Go ahead and hog the bed! There's no one else in it but you!!!

I know what you must be thinking.. "thanks a lot for reminding me that I'm the only one in my bed! Ya jerk!" ...... and frankly, I started to think the same thing, but stop right there, Negative Nancy! This is about the space we're not using, that we'll bitch about not having later. Take advantage of it now, while you still have the power! (After a tough discussion with myself, I decided to leave out any reference to 'Grayskull' in that last sentence. So close though. All the 80's nerds in the room, can I get a hell yeah!?'

Anycrap, here I am, typing away at my latest ramble, from the middle of my bed. Ok, no, I can't just go ALL the way over to the left side yet! We're still talking foreign territory here. Baby steps, man. Baby steps.

I gotta tell you, this is actually pretty weird.. I'm never over here. I feel like any second, someone's gonna walk in and say 'You're in my spot!!!!!!'.

....aaaaaand cue the dog!

........aaaaaaaand *SCENE*!

Even though it really just happened (she really did jump up here just now) that was still incredibly lame.

Ah well, I don't profess to be a good writer, and if I were, I'd have to be on strike right now anyway.

Back to my dog. God my dog is great. So what if she doesn't know basic trained-dog tricks.. My dog's a thinker, a sarcastic litte bugger.. Kind of like a mini Sophia Petrillo in a fur coat. Sometimes I almost forget that she's a dog (and she's definitely a dog, which is the ONLY excuse for her rampant butt-lickery)

My little bodyguard... who valiantly attempts to rescue me from early wake-up calls and the UPS guy..

My little turd-monkey... who got mad when I laughed at her, and took it out on the hallway carpet with a whiz not to be believed.

My little pumpkin... who'll jump up here and lay beside me for no other reason than the fact that she wants to be here with me.

And that's Peanut, in a nutshell.. *cue the bad joke cymbal-crash*

My little Peanut.. Who I really hope will outlive her shitzu expiration date, but I fear will one day leave me all alone to entertain the morbid thought of having her freeze-dried and on display. Not to scare any potential grandkids, but for the lamer reason of not being able to let her go.

Damn. Right now I kinda regret the fact that I'm never very liberal with the treats.

..So raise the candles high, cause if you don't we could stay black against the sky. Oh raise them higher again, and if you do, we could stay dry against the rain..

Strange Days Indeed...

So I got to hang out with Roger last sunday.. we actually saw a movie this time.. and I don't think I have to tell you that The Simpsons was all in all, pretty decent. The whole spider pig thing is great, and believe it or not, I nearly got misty-eyed before it was over. (you know what? forget I said that. misty... PFFT!) and yeah, it's obviously gonna be like one giant episode, but if you like the simpsons, then you're set. Suprisingly though, I have more to say about the previews
First off.. did anyone else know they were making Alvin and The Chipmunks?!?! WHAT KIND OF BLASPHEMY IS THIS!?!!?!! Ok, I love Alvin and The Chipmunks, and Jason Lee is hilariously funny, and YES, the preview looked decent... but... BUT!! Am I the only one who thinks cartoons should stay cartoons?? Is nothing sacred anymore?? By the way, yes, I'll have to see it.

It'll be coming out December 14th, so whoever's going with me, clear your schedule! and has anyone seen the extended version of the Army commercial they're playing now?? JEEZ! I always like seeing it on tv, cause I'm all about watching guys in uniform running around to awesome background music, but to see it in the theater? JEEZ.. the surround sound alone is almost enough to make me want to join the army.. you know, if I weren't the COMPLETE opposite of army material. I'd join if I had to, and I'm sure they'd take me if they had to, but I'm sure they wouldn't like it.

Moving on, the new Jodi Foster flick looks pretty sweet too.. I don't know much about it, just that I guess her boyfriend is murdered, and she goes after the people who did it, vigilante style, which I think we'd all love to try at least once. I think it's the same idea as the new Kevin Bacon movie, but I like J.F. better.

and last but not least... Balls of Fury. Now, the name alone is reason enough for me to see it, but Christopher Walken? Ping Pong? That chinese guy who's in everything, but I'll always refer to as 'Lo Pan', because Big Trouble in Little China is still one of my favorite movies EVER?!?!? .........sounds like it could make it on the 'greatest movie ever' list! I must see it.. if I died right now, without seeing Balls of Fury, I'm sure my soul would be damned to roam the earth for all eternity, haunting random people in theater restrooms, or something equally as lame. I honestly don't think that was half of the previews we saw, and the commercials... god the commercials.. although I did think it was pretty funny that in one of the ads for either for a doctor or dentist (I can't remember which) the guy totally looked like Glen Campbell... and I'm glad I was there with Rog, cause he's the only one who would have gotten it, AND find it funny. Ah well, I take every available opportunity to say 'Rhinestone Cowboy'. Guess you had to be there.

After the movie, we pretty much went about our usual routine... Make asses out of ourselves at the Burger King drive-thru, truck on over to Ritter Park to hang out at the picnic tables, and spend a few hours talking about life, while those feisty ritter park squirrels chuck acorns at us from the trees above. If they had better aim, maybe I'd be afraid.. it's like full-on acorn assault... but since they're so bad at it, I can't help but laugh at their poorly executed acorn tactics! HA! Take that, sniper squirrels!

ok, now I'm getting pretty sleepy.. so I have to tell you one more thing before I go.. and this is creepy.. so this morning I'm having some stupid dream about a gas station.. I was filling up my car when two guys came up to me and demanded my purse.. I just stared at them and hit the panic button on my keys.... so my car starts going nuts, they run off, and then the gas station owner came out.. I thought she came to help, but she was in on it too, then she put her arm around me and I woke up. it was her arm that woke me up.. which is totally strange, like I actually felt it, and I even remember thinking to myself how weird that was.

So I look at the clock, 6:30am.. and while I was laying there, I heard the tv in the living room.. sounded like commercials and stuff, cause it got louder all of a sudden. I laid there for a minute, then I started to get pissed cause I thought my mom was still awake, and she knows I can't sleep when the tv's blasting. So I sit up, look in my mirror (which is the only way I can see down the hallway from my bed), and there are no lights, but I still hear the tv. So then I decide that my dad must have gotten up in the middle of the night, cause he couldn't sleep, and then fell asleep with the tv on. I figure I better go put a blanket on him, and turn the freakin tv off... so as I'm trudging down the hallway, the noise fades out, and by the time I make it to the living room...... NOTHING. No mom, no dad, NO TV... so I'm just standing there in the dark like a fool (we have heavy curtains in that room, so it was still pitch black, even though it was starting to get light outside), and I was afraid to move cause I couldn't believe what was going on.

To top it off, my dog wasn't even with me.. so I haul ass back to my room to find her.. pick her up and stand in the hallway a good five minutes to see if she's gonna act funny, like somethings going on.. you know.. she was pretty frozen for a while, staring down the hallway like she saw something, and of course I was scared shitless.. cause it was scary... durr.. and then I guess she decided whatever was there was finally gone, cause she put her head on my shoulder and went back to sleep. I figured by that point that it was safe to move, and she was snoring before I even made it back to my bed. Needless to say, it took me forever to fall back asleep. the dream after that was pretty stupid.. all I remember was the part about installing a stripper pole in my house, which if you know me at all, is the dumbest thing ever..

Kari + a stripper pole = five or six minutes of fun, followed by possible broken bones, large hospital bills, and at least three nicknames I'd never be able to live down. somehow it just doesn't seem worth it.

goodnight all

"The silence of a falling star lights up a purple sky, and as I wonder where you are, I'm so lonesome I could cry"

Suffering Blue Bastard...

What the hell am I talking about??

A CUP!
YES! A CUP!

ok, ok.. it's a tiki mug.. whatever... and it's about to be my new loose change receptacle. Look at it! Isn't it great?!?!





actually, this should be a blog about how Ebay is the devil. Because it is! Why? Because I wasn't even looking for a new change jar!! I didn't even need it, and I paid way too much for it! (yeah I know... totally out of character! and no, I don't know what came over me)but how could I NOT buy something called a Suffering Blue Bastard??!?!? oooooooh.... during the course of writing this blog, I've figured out what the destiny of this mug shall be..

and it goes a little something like this..

PHASE 1 : settle down, get married, have children (bla bla BLAH!!)... fast forward to GRANDCHILDREN .... at least 2.

PHASE 2 : concoct several background stories* of the Suffering Blue Bastard**, involving who he was, how he came to be, why he's suffering, and how I came to posess such a dumb looking object.

*Make sure stories are believable, while still incorporating such things as flying monkeys, inanimate objects that only talk when no one else is around, and magic dust. This will be the tricky part.
** Find a better word than 'bastard' to use around the grandchildren.

PHASE 3 : Tell each kid a different story, and then cleverly hide my amusement as they fight over who knows the real story.. all the while, each kid thinking THEY know the real story, cause I've told them they're my favorite.. of course I'd tell my favorite grandkid the truth... right? HA! WRONG! Then I'll laugh heartily at their having believed me.. mainly because I plan to torment my grandchildren often.. and by that point they should have learned not to trust me.

PHASE 4 : Hop on my metallic blue Rascal, and ride off into the sunset... still laughing at their stupidity. gah.. that's just beautiful.

FIN!

...and I'm home!

oooooooooooh yeah... I feel like I've been run over by a truck.. and then maybe dragged behind it for a while. I haven't been this sore in a while.. it's what I get for sitting on my bum all day, every day at work, and then thinking there won't be any problem at all when I spend several hours hoofing it thru an unfamiliar city. Seems I only thought my boots were comfortable. so much to tell, so many pics to post... too tired to do it right now. tomorrow I'll tell you all about the drive up, our second valet encounter, our foray into the city streets of cleveland, our complete ignorance of city blocks and how hellaciously large they are, the glory of the hard rock cafe, the jerkwad cabbies, the BEST CONCERT EVER, the aftermath of the best concert ever, and the pros and cons of alfalfa sprouts.

until then, LATER TATERS!

On the road again...

I'm pretty sure I had a blog with this title last year.. ah well, it was for nearly the same exact thing anyway. that's beside the point! it's almost 4 am..not sure when I'll get to sleep, but it doesn't even matter now! in a few hours, I'll be on the road! YEAH! so anyway, keep your fingers, toes, eyes.. whatever you can cross, crossed that we don't get lost.. if i'm not back by sunday, come looking for me!! hopefully I'll be back with some decent pictures this time. god I'm tired.. Im' not even making sense anymore. ok, I'll talk to everyone in a few days.

AND I'M OUT!!!
XOXO

Update on my worst nightmare...

Well, I haven't been mauled.. YET.. but thanks to a certain deadly handsome Irish man, here's a visual of what that scenario might look like

Hopefully, it was born a ramblin' bear, and is long gone by now. Otherwise it's staking out my house, learning my routine and planning it's attack.... or not.. I guess you know that could have been paranoia talking just now. Hmm

"...I get so lost, sometimes..."

My worst nightmare has come true...

BEAR SIGHTINGS... AT MY HOUSE... THAT'S RIGHT! BEARS! MY WORST FEAR! AT MY HOUSE!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! *HYPERVENTILATING* swear to god.. I'm so afraid of bears its not even funny! It's probably because I watched 'Grizzly' when I was a kid. Have you guys even seen 'Grizzly'?!?!?! Total 70's cheese about some gargantuan bloodthirsty maniac bear on a rampage. I say cheesy, but it totally scared the crap out of me.. nothing could get me to watch that movie EVER again!!! The bear was so huge, they couldn't kill it with guns.. if I remember correctly, they had to BLOW IT UP with a ROCKET LAUNCHER!!!!!

oh god.. SO scared of bears... I have nightmares about bears around my house all the time! AND NOW IT'S HAPPENING!!! no, it's not a huge bear, it's a small black bear.. like the size of a big dog. But do you think that matters to me?!?! CAUSE IT DOESN'T!!! this could only end badly.. it's not gonna be like 'The Great Outdoors', where John Candy shoots the hair off that bear's ass, and hilarity ensues... oh no... it's gonna be me spending all my money on bear repellent and guns (do they even make bear repellent?? do you know where I can find some??), then mistaking my neighbor's dog for the bear, assassinating it with completely unnecessary and over the top firepower, and ending up in jail for it. my entire life, nobody's ever mentioned seeing a bear in our general vicinity.. WHY do they have to come sniffin' around now!??!?!?!

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! ok, I'm calming down, I'll be fine... I just need some bear repellent and some guns. maybe a rocket launcher.

*PUKE*

this would only happen to me... at work the other day, I answer a call as usual, go thru my 'thank you for calling blah blah blah, this is blah blah, can I get the number you're calling about bla la la'.. then I hear a male voice mumbling something about his home phone number and his cell phone.. ooooooook.. LOVELY I can barely hear him, and I have no idea what the hell he's talking about, so I ask his name... he doesn't give it to me, but proceeds to go thru his story about his home phone and cell AGAIN (this happens a lot, nobody can answer a f#ckin' question anymore).

Fine.. I'm straining to hear him, but finally figure out that he's asking how to turn his phone off. (this happens a lot too, cause nobody knows how to use their f#ckin' phones).. so I go thru the usual 'press and hold the button with the red phone on it'.... followed by 'nothings happening'... followed by me saying 'press and hold'... followed by 'oh'.. by this time I'm convinced that the guy is handicapped, and for that reason have let his bad attitude slide.. also because he's thanking me profusely for what I've just taught him. Hmm.. that's nice.. people seem to think that just because you're nice to me now, it somehow erases the fact that you were a complete assface not 5 minutes ago.. but I digress. So I start to close the call.. I ask if there's anything else I can do for him. He says no, and lets me get all the way thru my 'blah blah blah, have a great day' before he's yelling 'MISS! MISS!'.... did I mention I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT?!?!?!?!

it was worse this time, mainly because I couldn't hear him, or understand 90% of what he was mumbling. so he starts saying something about staying on the phone with me, and something about 'round the world'... with an occasional 'oh lordy' thrown in... for good measure I guess.. this goes on for a while, with me giving generic answers like'yeah', 'uh huh'.. or 'hmm?'.. the occasional 'I'm sorry, what was that?'. All the time trying to figure out a way to end the call, and to be as polite as possible, because obviously this man is retarded, and probably all the other reps he talked to didn't have the patience to help him. that sounds good, doesn't it. what a good little samaritan I am.yeah, I thought so too.. until I covered my other ear so I could hear him better. it was about that time that I started noticing more 'oh lordy's' being thrown in, and some other noises going on. So I could only assume he was, ahem.. roughing himself up...

I suppose I can't be sure, but this brings up several questions.. Was he really retarded? or was he just molesting himself?......... or maybe BOTH?!?! GAH!!!! SICK!!! Ya know, this is pretty funny, but still.... I can't tell you how gross I feel... I'm feelin' a little violated. yeah, that's kinda over dramatic... that's why I said 'a little'. ICK! Scarred for life!

Niiiiiiiiiice...

So last night, I got an email on myspace from Some Dude saying 'if it tastes that good... eat it yourself'

my first thought was 'heh??' within seconds, it became clear to me what he meant by that.. but I still replied with 'heh??'

and then he says 'you seem a little hung up on yourself...'

AND THEN HE BLOCKED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The dipshit didn't even have enough testicular fortitude to wait for my reply!! and I hadn't even launched into defensive mode at that point.. I was just about ask him what exactly made him think that. (I'm pretty sure I know why, but whatever)

anyway.. like your profile isn't supposed to be.. uh, I don't know.. ALL ABOUT YOU?! I guess I can't speak for everyone, but I get pissed when someone sends me a friend request, and there's nothing about them in their profile.. why would I wanna add someone based on just their picture?? Like I should just take their word for it that we have things in common?? Screw that!

ya know, this really chaps my ass.

and not even because he said I was hung up on myself.. it's because Captain NoGrapes just HAD to give me his opinion... you know, without me asking for it, and then didn't give me the chance to speak mine.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ....................ok I'm fine now.

Die, Die My Darling...

oh yeah that's right.. I was nearly killed

why is it that you could be the only car on the highway, yet some jackass feels the need to pull right out in front of you anyway.. instead of waiting 2 seconds for you to go by?!?! Yup, that's what happened to me last night.

So there I was on the way home from work.. it was pretty boring cause I was by myself and it's a 35 minute drive. Minding my own business like a good little driver, when some a-hole in what I'll assume was a semi, but could at least be described as a hellaciously large truck, waits til the VERY last second to pull out in front of me.

My first thought was the typical 'what an idiot!!'... I'm laying on the brakes pretty heavily, but not slamming, until I realize that this truck has a huge bed on it..which ends up blocking both lanes! and the only reason I even saw it, was because the miniscule reflectors just happened to do their job at just the right second. So then I'm slamming the brakes, seriously thinking I'm about to plow right into this dumbass.

and this would be the point most people talk about their lives flashing before their eyes.. and to be honest, that's how I thought it would be. Strangely enough, I didn't spend that last second thinking of those I love.. my only thought was 'you can't die singing Air Supply'........ THAT WAS IT!! That was my profound 'last thought'!! I love the song, but come on! I couldn't go out like that!!! Isn't that ridiculous?? So stupid in fact, that if I HAD died, I would have insisted, from the grave - via dream visitation, that it be mentioned in my eulogy. That's how it would start.. "Kari came to me in a dream.. she wanted you all to know that she died singing along with Air Supply.. to be specific, it was 'All Out Of Love'. And that's the kind of dumbass she was".. and then hopefully everyone would laugh, and miss me a little, and then you know, go on talking about how great I was. HA!

So my big stupid 'near death' experience got me thinking. I'm really weird.. Sometimes even I'M suprised by my own warped thought process. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with myself, and wouldn't have it any other way, but sometimes I just have to point and laugh at myself.

and I wonder what other people think too.. bringing me to story # 2....

at work a few weeks back, I had trainees sitting with me. Yes, sitting with ME... even though I go into work everyday feeling like I have no idea what I'm doing. I actually pitied the first chick... she couldn't possibly have learned anything from me. Lucky for her, she seemed to have a good enough grasp on things... didn't need much help anyway. The second lady had already worked there for 3 years, so basically, I had someone who knew the job inside out, watching me bullshit my way through the day. Niiiiiiice. I can't having someone looking over my shoulder.. not to mention the fact that I was only supposed to be taking calls up until the first break, but for some reason, I took them the entire day while she listened through a headset plugged into my phone.. *cough*I got hosed*cough*

so I ended up with a migraine, and somehow, a totally thrashed contact lens. But the best part of this story, is when I logged in that day, she wasn't there yet, so I'm sitting there pulling all my programs up.

Then I thought I heard my phone ringing... which of course it was ringing, because otherwise, the Underpants Gnome song from South Park wouldn't have been blasting out of my purse. For a second though, I guess because of the computer noise, I couldn't really tell.. so what do I do? Did I open my purse and take out my phone?? NO! Of course not!! I chose to hold my purse up to my head so I could check it that way. Of course that was the exact moment my 3-years-experienced trainee decided to show up.. I didn't know she was there until I heard 'Hi Kari'... I turned in my chair, with the purse still in place, firmly pressed against my ear, and as I said before, blasting the underpants gnome song. Can you imagine what was going through her mind?! haha

PRICELESS!!

and THESE are the stories I'll tell my grandchildren one day.

Five o'clock in the mornin'...

if anyone knows what song my blog title is from... I'll respect you forever. If you knew the version... maybe I'd love you forever too. HA! So you know it must be pretty obscure. Yup.

Ahhh... wide awake at 5am.. Haven't been this bored in a long time. So I figured I'd ramble on here for a while.

YEAH!

Hmm.. what's happened to me lately.. *thinks*. Actually, there hasn't been a lot going on. Work is picking up, so I suppose that could be considered a good thing. It's almost funny how much I dislike customer service, yet I find myself back there every day.. talking to one jackass after another. Honest to god.. if I'm on the phone with you, trying to fix your voicemail.. and I say 'Okay, I need to make a test call into your voicemail to make sure it works. So when your phone beeps.. DON'T ANSWER IT'..... common sense might just tell you not to answer the beep... but I can't tell you how many people do answer it. Since I'm on the subject, here are some other things to remember before you call any customer service...

~If your problem has ANYTHING to do with the phone itself... CALL ME FROM A DIFFERENT PHONE. ex. f you can't figure out how to copy numbers from your address book, or you can't figure out how to change your ringtone... aside from me just telling you how to do it, and hoping that you retained at least enough of that information to not call back 5 minutes later, I can't help you.

~I'm required to say certain things at the beginning and ending of a call.. Don't interrupt me. When I ask your name.. don't just start telling me your problem.. GIVE ME YOUR FREAKIN NAME! and if I ask you if there's anything else I can do for you, if you say 'no' and then let me get all the way thru 'thank you for calling, have a nice day'... THAT'S IT! Understand that you will now forfeit any chance to ask more questions...don't try yelling 2 seconds before I hang up. this happens at least 10 times a day.

~If you think you deserve a credit for something.. don't say 'I've been a great customer'.. no you haven't. At best, you've merely fulfilled the obligations of a contract YOU SIGNED. Why do people think it makes them some kind of god if they can abide by a contract?? Hey everybody! Look at me! I told them I'd pay my bills for 2 years, and I actually did it!! YIPPEEEEE!! Where's my party! Where's my 'Best Customer Ever' T-shirt and giant cardboard check for 25,000??

~Don't start the call off by being a total douche... that makes me not want to help you. And yeah, you might be mad about something.. and you might be pissy that you have to verify all your information for the 40th time... but I don't know you from a cat turd.. I have to ask you questions to know what's going on. For god's sake, help me out a little.

~Don't call me if you're eating, bathing, or engaging in any other unspeakable bathroom antics. Yes, people do this to me. Every day.

~Before you call me.. try just turning the phone off.. yes, it will fix your problem at least 75% of the time.

~If you're too cheap to pay for phone sex, NEVER... EVER call customer service as a substitute. They don't pay me enough to listen to you molest yourself.

~If you're on a plan that includes free roaming and long distance within the U.S.... Canada doesn't fall under that. Yes, I'm serious.

~If you lose your phone, and you don't have insurance. Tough shit. Who's fault is that? It sure isn't mine, and no, I can't just 'produce' another phone for you. If I could dispense cell phones at will, I sure as hell wouldn't be sitting in a cubicle talking to you. I'd be blowing Blackberries out my nose and selling them on ebay for a hefty profit.

~When I say 'Can I please get your 10 digit mobile number, with the area code first*..' ......DON'T start dialing the number. Yeah, I don't understand tones, I actually need you to SAY IT.

~*'Area code first'.... Nope, I'm not asking for your zip code. If I was, I'm not 100% sure here, but I'm pretty confident that I'd say 'Zip code'.

aaaah, I think that does it for right now.. I could think of a few more, but I'll save em for another time.

Yeah, still pretty bored, still wide awake. Nothing else to do but load up my mp3 player and wait for the sun to come up. I love when the sun is barely up, and everything is still kinda hazy, and it's dead quiet.

it's 20 minutes of feeling completely alone. No one else is awake, not even the birds. This is great. I guess cause it's the most alone I ever feel, but I know it won't last forever, so I can actually enjoy it. Hmm.. that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. Maybe I AM tired..

"The head of state has called for me by name, but I don't have time for him. It's gonna be a glorious day, I feel my luck could change"

How disappointing...

On the way to work the other day, I got behind an enormous garbage truck.. on the back was a sign that said 'DRUGS ARE TRASH' and what it should have said?? 'DRUGS ARE TRASH. GIVE THEM TO ME AND I'LL THROW THEM AWAY' If Mr. Garbage Guy had only gone the extra mile with his sign, I could have laughed at least a good 30 seconds longer. I feel cheated. and that is all.

'Tomorrow was made for some...Tomorrow may never come, for all we know'

What's that noise?!

It's me.. breathing through my mouth. Got a wicked cold.I'm siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick....... *cough* and how can my nose be stopped up AND running?!?! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!?!?! Whoever thought that one up deserves a swift kick in the ass. Hmmm, this fever is fryin' my brain. SIZZLIN'!All doped up on cold medicine and nowhere to go.

"Now no one's knocked upon my door, for a thousand years or more. All made up and nowhere to go. Welcome to this one man show. Just take a seat they're always free. No suprise, no mystery. In this desert that I call my soul, I always play the starring role."

Once I get that song out of my head, I'm gonna curl up in bed, maybe hallucinate a little from the fever, and watch Anne Heche skank up another episode of Nip/Tuck. (*** I just watched it.. she wasn't in tonight's episode. ha HA! EAT IT HECHE!!!)somebody. anybody.. make my cold go away.

Seriously.. I need a hug.. and something to blow my nose on. Ya know, whatever ya got.

The sky isn't falling...

and so the meteor shower I've been looking forward to all day was kind of a letdown. Stupid clouds. Stupid cold weather.

it was kind of cool to be standing all by myself outside my house til after midnight though.. listening to leaves crunching on the hill while some giant shadow moved about. I'm pretty sure it was one of my neighbors cattle.. unless it was a really fat deer. You don't see many fat deer though, so I'll stick with it being a cow.

this would have been one of the rare occasions when it would be cool to live waaaay out in the country. I could have done without the pesky traffic and the giant lights my neighbors have.

So I stayed out until I couldn't feel my face anymore, and a couple cats started fighting in the field below my house. There's just something about it that always scares me.. perhaps it's the fact that my cat used to get in rancid fights all the time.. in the middle of the night... right outside my window. It doesn't help that I'm completely disoriented when I wake up... so waking up to a catfight at 3am is enough to give me a coronary.

The clouds broke just long enough for me to see a couple meteors though, so I didn't come away completely empty handed.

So it was worth it.

and I even managed to make a couple wishes..

They are shooting stars after all.

"At my door, the leaves are fallin', a cold wild wind will come.

Sweethearts walk by together, and I still miss someone."

Pumpkins!!!

God I love Halloween... Pumpkin #1... I got this idea somewhere on the net.. it didn't really turn out like the original, but I think it's better anyway..


Pumpkin # 2... the picture is shitty.. and I wasn't really sure what I was doing with this one.. I was kinda pressed for time.. The mouth looks kinda funny, but when it's all lit up, looks totally like hundreds of needle teeth. YEA!!

Someone at VH1 deserves a raise...

To whoever came up with Celebrity Paranormal Project... I tip my imaginary hat to you, sir. I'm almost ashamed to admit I thought it couldn't get any better than 'I love the 80's'... oh but it can. Yes.

Haunted places.... weird camera angles... the trainwreck that is Gary Busey... Now that's a recipe for quality entertainment.

and I have to say.. All the times I've gone ghosthunting, things that happened, things that we saw (ask me sometime about my flashlight dying in the Carroll house, or the shadow at Woodland, or the ghost we taped at St. Mary's... OOOoo, I nearly forgot the time a friend screamed like a 5 year old girl while we hauled ass out of Woodland.. Ah, to hell with asking me about that one.. I'll tell it in a minute)... I could never have done any of that crap by myself..nooooo way.

these people definitely have guts. I can respect that.

My only problem with this show, and the only problem I ever had with Mtv Fear, was the kind of stuff they have these people doing. It's one thing to go to places like this to observe, but automatic writing? Asking spirits to take over your body??!! What?! Are you CRAZY??!! Trained professionals hardly do that stuff.. It's just asking for trouble if you don't know what you're doing, and pretty disrespectful to boot.

Don't be fooled by my rant though, I'm not trained, I don't profess to know what I'm doing at any given time in any given situation, and I suppose it could be argued that my reasons for ghosthunting would be asking for trouble (reasons being entertainment, with a side of legit investigation, and a generous sprinkling of fear). BUT, I've never been disrespectful to whoever or whatever was there... that's a bad situation, or an equally bad B-movie just waiting to happen.

Still.. It's a good enough show to inspire another one of my useless, rambling blogs. I'll definitely be tuning in next week. Anybody wanna bet on whether or not the king of exercise infomercials, Mr. Tony Little himself, is gonna squeal like a woman?? Don't get me wrong, I love Tony Little... I watch his infomercials, I even bought a Gazelle Freestyle (aka 'the gazelle coat rack'), but 10 bucks says he'll be hitting the high notes before the evening's through.

Alright, on to the story... God, I'm like an old woman.. If any of you were actually hearing this in person, I'm sure it would be accompanied by stale cookies and ribbon candy, and I dare say, maybe some catfood pate on ritz crackers... Ooo how posh, how... ritzy!

So anyway, picture it. Creepy cemetery.. Late at night. Trish and her cousin in the front seat, nameless male friend and myself in the back. A little background on Mr. Nameless.. Or as I'd rather call him, Corporal McWussy. At the time, he was one of our good friends, but always the one talking about all the scary stuff he'd seen, haunted places he'd been to.. You know, the 'I'm-the-encyclopedia-on-all-things-occult-nothing-scares-me' type.

I almost forgot.. I was setting up the scene. Sorry! Back on track!

I would mention a creepy fog rolling in, but frankly, I don't remember there being any, and it would've only served to make the scene scary, and make the actions of the McWuss more socially acceptable.

So we park in the cemetery, and just sit there in silence.. Watching, waiting for something to happen (which it always did before.. You'd be suprised)... and it just so happened that night, there wasn't anything going on. No creepiness. Nada. So we decide to leave. Start up the car, snail it thru the cemetery as not to attract any unwanted attention, when all of a sudden, I hear this noise behind me.. Like a little kid talking. I froze, asked everyone if they heard it, which of course they didn't. (Yeah.. I'm *that* character.. The first to hear anything.. The one who's laughed at, only to die first and be believed later... but I digress). So the noise starts up again, that time everyone heard it.. And then all at once it was me screaming, Trish and her cousin screaming, me basically adhering myself to McWuss for protection, and Trish's cousin stomping the gas... then strangely, I noticed that it wasn't us screaming so much anymore, as it was Corporal McWussy. and honest to god, screaming like he had morphed into a little girl. Long story shorter, our 'ghost' ended up being a Sesame Street toy that belonged to her cousin's little boy. It was in the trunk behind my seat.. I was sure if we opened it up, there wouldn't have been any batteries there, but for some reason, her cousin was against checking it out. Needless to say, the drive home was a bit tense.

We don't hang out with The Corporal anymore.. And no, it's not necessarily because he screams like a girl.

Here's a great tip. Don't be fake... it's the quickest way to end up humiliating yourself. If you're a nerd, be a proud nerd.. If you get scared easily, who cares! there's nothing wrong with that! If you scream like a girl, I won't laugh at you (unless you deserve it!). If you like Air Supply, great, so do I.

BUT..... If you're gonna act like a badass, have the grapes to back it up!

oh yeah, and watch Celebrity Paranormal Project!

FIN!!! <3

"Yes'n try to ignore... all this blood on the floor...
It's just this heart on my sleeve that's bleeding"

Binx is leaving the building...

yeah, I named the kitten Binx.

and now he's dying

probably the saddest thing about watching this little creature die, is the fact that he's still purring.

Kitten Scratch Fever...

I know I've said this in another blog, but my cat is a deadbeat. Not only is she a deadbeat... she's a slut. My cat is a slut. ...AND she's handicapped... it's a triplethreat! In essence, I am the government to this cat.. I pay for her food.. I give her a place to live.. and how does she thank me?? By churning out babies that all look the same, that she always abandons... that I always end up trying to save. I give em a name and some of that nasty store bought cat-milk.... then I end up holding them while they die, one by one. Damn this sucks. I swore I'd never do it again. All the years I preached about getting your animals fixed so things like this wouldn't happen... and now I'm doling out welfare checks in the form of Meow Mix to at least 5 cats that I can't tell apart. It's freakin 'Attack of the Clones' at my house.

Who'd have thought this cat would live so long?! I live next to the road for god's sake.. any other cat makes it 1 or 2 years before they're hit by a car. She's even been hit by a car (I bet this explains the handicapped part, right?) and she's still going. The second I spend all that money getting her fixed though... and it's roadkill city.. no doubt. I've considered drugging them and dumping them somewhere.. or perhaps, an elaborate assasination attempt. Does this make me a bad person??? Ah, I don't think so.. cause I really don't think I could do either one of those things.. I don't have the grapes to be a cat assassin. Hmm, that's pretty fun to say... cat assassin.. I gotta save that one. and where is this story going? Ah yes.. 10:30 the other night, I go out in my yard.. whoops, that's not what happened, that's a Dead Milkmen song. ANYWAY! I came home from work last night to the cries of a kitten.. obviously the little bugger was yowling, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to hear him over the rain. YES! THE RAIN! That's what makes this so much more interesting!!

So I go in the house, put all my crap down, and come back out with my trusty flashlight.. searched around for a little while, and finally found a teeny gray kitten... drenched and shivering underneath a tree next to my house. When I say 'underneath a tree'.. I mean way back in there. So there are tree branches in front, 2 giant shrubs wedged in next to the tree, and the fence wedged in on the opposite side. He was closer to the fence actually.. and for a second I foolishly thought I could just stick my hand thru and drag him out. Not so.. as I keep forgetting I'm not 5 years old anymore.. I've got small hands but I'm not about to get myself stuck in a fence.. in the pouring rain.. after dark. So after spending a few minutes trying to coax him out to me.. which was stupid, considering he's probably all of 2 weeks old.. he barely crawls.. I decided to go in after him. Now this part took some planning.. I've explored 99% of our property.. played in every creek, climbed every tree worth climbing.. but strangely, I've never dealt with that tree, or those shrubs. Keep in mind, I did NOT want to do this.. it was cold.. everything was soaking wet and muddy.. it was STILL raining, and who knows what god awful bugs and creatures are living in those branches. There could be spiders for crap's sake!!! BUT, apparently the sound of an abandoned kitten can break even the crustiest heart. And so, I rolled down my sleeves, zipped up my jacket and pulled the hood up. Then I threw back the branches and set about my rescue mission.

Getting in was easier than I thought, although the first word out of my mouth was 'eeeeeeewwwwwww'. It was like being in line at walmart.. ya know, where the person behind you keeps inching closer, so you end up having to inch closer to the person in front of you.. and neither one of those people are the type you want to be in the general company of anyway.. yeah.. that's what being between a drenched tree and a drenched shrub is like. Not somewhere you'd want to be. So I'm in.. and I find that after all this careful planning and strategizing.. I'm still about a foot away from the kitten.. and no way to get closer.. so I just put my hand on the ground and told him to come on. Would you believe that worked?! Yeah, I couldn't either. Ah, I suppose it was worth getting muddy and rained on. Now I'm trying to think up a name.. I think I've used all the good ones already. Hmmm. and bottle feeding a kitten kinda sucks... he's already scratched the hell out of my hands.. buuuuuuut.. there's nothing like seeing a tiny little ball of fluff totally pig out on fake cat-milk (ick), and then purr itself to sleep in your lap.

On the other hand, I hate all this mushy 'feelings' crap.. I hate the fact that I've already gotten attached to something that will more than likely die in my hands while I cry like a little bitch. DAMMIT! Yeah, that's kinda negative.. and I probably wouldn't be this way if I hadn't already done this entire scenario 20 times over. While that's a pretty selfish reason for not wanting him to die.. I still hope he makes it. He is pretty cute ya know.

"You've got the butterflies all tied up. Don't make me chase you, even doves have pride"

CRAPTACULAR!!!!!

Yes indeed, it's that time of year again!! Time for me to get a wicked cold! Paging all hot male nurses!! STAT!!What a way to start my vacation... so I've spent most of the day in and out of consciousness.. doped up on cold medicine, coughing like an old woman with too many cats and a nasty case of emphysema. Now, for some reason my entire back hurts... what's up with that?? Haha, and get this... I woke up this morning clutching my Vicks sinus-clearing inhaler thingy... aww, how romantic. Has anyone else ever tried those?? They're pretty bitchin', although it feels kinda strange to be sticking that thing up my nose and snorting a bunch of menthol fumes... it's like I should have been in the bathroom of an LA club or something. Hmmmahh well, I still have 7 days of vacation left, I'm just hoping I can kick this cold's ass before I'm all out of time. On the bright side, I can sing right along with Bonnie Tyler and Kim Carnes... although 'Bette Davis Eyes' doesn't sound nearly as good when there's coughing and hacking between every chorus!!! hahaha*cough*hahaha

FIN!!

No, Mr. Bank.. I don't want your help...

but I need it.. Ooooh I hate that. yeah that's right.. I stopped by the bank the other day to grovel for a loan. For what? you ask... HA! I bet you'd like to know.. okay, I'll tell you. It's to build a bathroom and a kitchen, so I can move out. I know you're thinking... "but Kari... where are you gonna put a kitchen and bathroom... and what house doesn't already have that??' Well, shows what you know! It's all going in a vacant gift shop. Oh yes. And what a bitchin' little shop it was.. brand new carpet.. central air.. cable tv.. lot's of SPACE and that's what I need! Some SPACE!! Space, and unconditional control of the thermostat and television. I could actually do the kitchen later, but I figured what the hell... ask for enough money to get it all done, then bargain for less if I have to. As long as I get a bathroom.. I'm not above microwave cooking and paper plates.

I'm gonna be so bummed if they ask for a co-signer. It would kinda grate the pride a bit.. Yeah I know I could get one... but I don't WANT one! I want as little help as possible. For god's sake, one of my proudest moments was getting my car without anyone's help.. picking it out.. going in for the kill... spending way too long fighting over the deal.. (I figured if they were gonna screw me over, he might as well work for it!)... getting the loan without having anyone else sign for it. Aaaaaall mine. OOoo I still get all giddy just thinking about it. Wow.. yes. That's lame. But everyone should know by now, I don't deny! I testify! So I'll find out in a couple days if it's gonna go thru. Since ol' Kari has a decent credit score but no collateral, they have to take it to the loan committee... So yeah, everyone wish me luck from the almighty loan gods. Good thing I have a dental appointment that morning.. so I should be sufficiently doped up not to feel the sting of rejection if it should happen. On the other hand, it could lead me into overzealous celebration if they do give me the money... somehow, embarrassing myself over a lump sum of money doesn't really sound that bad. People do it all the time on Publisher's Clearing House commercials.

Wow, since this has been a suprisingly unfunny blog, lemme just tell you something stupid I've done lately. I was in the gift shop the other day.. I look around and see all this mouse crap everywhere. So I start to freak out.. 'Oh god, there are mice in here! Oh god! I have to clean up mouse crap!' and of course you can't vacuum it.. cause apparently you'll get some kind of icky lung virus and die. Since I don't want some kind of airborne crap virus takin' me out... I came back with a dust pan and a stereo. Nothing but the sound of Pantera and my knee cracking. Soooo... a dustpan and a half into the abyss of turds... I actually forced myself to take a good look at them.. cause you know, I'm not really one for gazing at turds.. and it's at that point I realized, they weren't turds at all... they were those damn stupid bugs that roll up into little balls.. Yeah I know that's a bad description.. I know you know what they are though. Apparently, in the throes of death, these little a-holes curl up into a ball that looks suprisingly like a mouse turd.. if you're not examining them closely, mind you.

My first thought was 'YES! No mice!' followed closely by the sound of the Hallelujah choir, followed even closer by 'CRAP! I just spent an hour sweeping up something I could have vaccuumed in 30 seconds!! CRAP!!' Ah well, at least I cleaned them up. I deserve a weekend at the beach for doing it the hard way though. Maybe I'll do it too... just to bring everyone one of those 'baby-shark-in-a-bottle' souvenirs... or perhaps.. if I'm feeling generous, a squished penny with some kind of beach-themed store logo on it. Now what kind of normal person wouldn't like to have one of those! Who cares if you had to pay a dollar for it!

Who needs crack when you can have a Dairy Queen Moo-Latte?!

and a word to the wise... never order the large mocha moo-latte.. it should come with a warning label. the ice-headache... the caffeine rush... most of the day is a blur now. I'm not sure what happened, but I may be wanted by the FBI now. If they ask where I am, none of you know anything... Before that, I did lunch with my brother Joe... we had to check out the new mexican restaurant in town. It was 'El something-or-other'. Ya know, my restaurant reviews would be so much better if I could remember the names. Well anyway, the food was actually pretty good. I was dying for a chicken taco, but decided against it as I'm afraid of breaking more teeth... I've broken two now, and I can't get into the dentist til JULY!! I thought broken teeth was a pretty big deal??.. apparently it isn't.

Back to the food... so, at a loss for what to order, I ended up getting some combo with a chicken enchilada and a chicken burrito, rice and beans. As usual... way more food than I could eat. I made it through the enchilada and some rice. Eh, that's what those neato styrofoam containers are for. and maybe I'm easily impressed, but I was blown away by the fact that they make their own hot sauce. hmm Anycrap, the food is good, the price isn't bad, and the staff speak clearly. I always love that. Now for a warning.. I'm not sure what the deal is, but on their back wall is a really strange mirror... The paranoid in me says it's a two-way mirror. Needless to say I wouldn't use their bathroom... who knows what hidden spy tactics are going on in there. *raises eyebrows* and that is all

And the gods have smiled upon me...

Yes.. Stoli Blueberi... so of course this will be the main ingredient of the famed Blueberry Bitchslap, which I have yet to complete the recipe for. it might end up just the blueberry vodka and some blue gatorade, as a friend very recently introduced me to the glory of vodka and sports drinks. Gotta keep those electrolytes in check. eh, but that's it for now..... it's 2am, I'm bored out of my mind..... I think I'll continue my months long search for my Pat Benatar - Best Shots cd. It's not even that great of a cd, I only really bought it for 'Invincible', but it really bothers me when I lose things. I must find it! I refuse to re-purchase it! No, Pat Benatar, you can't have any more of my money!

Later Taters

Ian McKellen and Broken Teeth...

that pretty much sums up last night... Went to see The DaVinci Code... by the way, I wish they would have just called it DaVinci Code... I can't say 'the' in front of it... comes out like 'DaDinci' and no, I'm not going to ramble thru a review. I'll only say that Ian McKellen stole the show. Yup. That is all. and to the car I pulled out in front of while trying to make a right on red... Sorry man... my contacts were clouding up.. yeah. So anyway, on the way back to the car..( which was miiiiiiiles from nowhere, considering the parking garage was full... pfft). I chipped a tooth!! How you ask? Chewing gum!!! Perhaps I need a calcium supplement... but honestly, who'd have thought my left molar would be defeated by half a stick of Orbit?? CRAP!! I mean, it's not like I was trying to knaw my way thru a chain link fence or something! I just stood there for a minute, staring back and forth between Roger, and the couple pieces of my tooth that I was holding.. I wasn't sure what to do, so I put 'em in my purse. Like I can just glue them back on! HA! and I can't get to the dentist til probably next tuesday.. .......... I knew there was a reason I bought that dental acrylic set from Monster Makers...

The Squirrel Whisperer...

Ah yes, another episode of 'Kari's Urban Exploration'.... today's adventures took Rog and I to 2... yes 2 quite large cemeteries. I'm talking large.. I've got the blisters on my feet to prove it... they go well with the giant burn on my leg that I got from a botched curling iron encounter; the details of which are quite embarassing. I'll just say this.. never be so foolish as to think you can iron the hem on a pair of homemade capri pants with a large-barrelled curling iron..... while you are wearing said capris. Yeah, the hindsight's pretty clear on this one.

Anycrap, I love cemeteries... is that creepy? Ah well, I don't care, they're great places to think. And really, you could spend hours just thinking about the people there...who they really were, how they died... if anyone remembers them now. God I hope people remember me when I'm gone. Do you ever wonder what kind of an impact, if any, you've made on other people?? or if they'd miss you if you weren't there? Jeez what a downer. So I've been thinking a lot lately; trying to figure myself out... the way I think, or overthink rather. Dang if that isn't completely self-centered. Someone smack me! Anyway, I've been thinking about why I do or don't do things, or leave things unsaid. why things I try to keep bottled up end up coming out at completely inopportune times, like right now. why things I say always seem to come out wrong. Yes, I've spent scads of time doing this and it's completely ridiculous... anything that's bugging me is totally insignificant compared to the major shit other people have going on.

So, to all the people like me who let things get to them..... QUIT!! yeah, I know it's easier said than done.... TRY! ....to all the people who don't let stuff get to them... GREAT! GOOD FOR YOU! ....and to the people who leave religious pamplets on my car, right before it rains, knowing it's gonna get stuck to my windshield and gunk it all up........EAT SHIT!!! Ahh, that's better......Moving on.. This time I managed to remember my camera, but not the batteries... so I only got a few pics. I think they may have been 90% squirrels though.. they're just so darn cute. I could stand there all day, camera poised, just waiting for them to do something funny. What a waste of good film. ha has anyone noticed that graveyard squirrels are different than regular squirrels? I mean, I suppose it comes from, you know, living in a graveyard.. but they're strange. ha, I bet you're wondering if I'm gonna follow this up with a story. Um, yeah!

So Roger and I are standing there by some monument thingy that looks like the stairway to heaven, and I look over just in time to see this fat little squirrel, upside down near the bottom of some freaky tree (have you noticed cemetery trees are different too?)... I take a picture, and the little dude comes at me like we're gonna fight... like I'm the paparazzi and he's Sean Penn or something. Then he twitches his tail and jumps around for a bit, then stands there and stares. Not to be outdone, I say 'oh yeah! let's have a staring contest! I bet you break first!'.....and then.....I shit you not.. the squirrel moves it's little hand as if to say 'who, me?!'.....and then I'm all like 'Oh yeah, you!'.......you know, I'm not sure which is worse, the part about the squirrel moving it's hand, or just the whole idea of me having a conversation with a squirrel... but I digress. Long story shorter, he broke first (ha HA! Take that, Admiral Fuzznuts!), and I came away the triumphant winner. Thank you, Thank you... no applause. After that, we got munchies from Burger King, and went down to the river bank to eat.

5 minutes later we're knee deep in conversation with some drunk guy. Honestly, I'm like a magnet for these people... like a bug lamp or something. So he's telling us he was quarterback in '72.. that he'd like to retire to tijuana...and then some story about some 550 pound guy who wanted to be a potato bug. (?!?!?!) "oooo he wanted to be a potato bug so bad!......and then he died that day... that day that he died" Yeah, it didn't make any sense to me either. so then he convinces himself that Rog is my dad.... then he decides we must be on a date... then I think for a minute he thought I was a hooker. I think maybe the 6th time I said 'he's my best bud'.. it finally sank in. then he wanted to talk a little too much about me being pretty, so we decided it was time to bolt. even with all the crap that happens on these outings, they've been some of the greatest times ever..... Next up on the adventure list (maybe not the very next, but soon)... Loretta Lynn's old house in Van Lear. Who'd have thought it was somewhere I'd be itching to visit?? Well I am! and that is all for now. Thank you, drive thru

International House Of Conspiracy...

I'm plagued by IHOP commercials!! Just when I can fit back into my old jeans again!! Pfft! Is this some cruel twist of fate or what?? Haha I'd say diet be damned, but I have no idea where ihop is!! I might have to google-map it. Damn you International House Of Pancakes!!!! ..You and your tasty looking foodstuffs!! Damn you to hell!!

ahhhhhhh crap...

had a shitty day at work...... I got moved to the desk directly behind my manager.. and why you ask? Well, I'm pretty sure I suck at this job. I'll spare you the lame details. "when sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions" .....damn straight Bill, damn straight. Eh, I'll crawl out of this hole tomorrow. In the meantime I'm gonna go drown my sorrows in cocoa pebbles.

...I know the spark inside your eyes was just the match I used to set myself on fire...

I've decided that I need a signature drink...

yes, I think everyone should have 'their' drink. Only I haven't figured out exactly what mine should have in it. The only things I'm sure of... it needs vodka it has to be blue and it shall be called...... are you ready?? a Blueberry Bitchslap. Somebody get crackin'! I need a recipe, stat!

ooooooeeeeeeeeoooo.. Killer Tofu

Today marked the beginning... and the end of my relationship with tofu. Since I know you want to hear aaaaaaall the details... I just happened to stroll into walmart when Roger was getting off work. Yup, Roger.. aka the coolest guy you'll ever meet... the guy with the greatest hippy drug tales you could ever hope to hear... the guy I went on the 'legit' ghost hunt (oh, excuse me 'paranormal investigation') with (that's another day and another bitchin story), I really can't say enough, he's been my best guy friend for damn near 6 years. ANYHOO!!! I hadn't seen him in forever so we decided to check out a new chinese place we'd heard about. I don't even know what it was called now...It might have had the word Dragon in it....actually, who cares.

I did however, laugh at the fact that I'm pretty sure the window just says 'Gourmet Buff'..unless I just couldn't see the whole thing. I'm actually suprised myself at the amount of jokes you can make about Gourmet Buff... and what kind of establishment it would be. Ha. I'm not sure if this is a widespread problem, but some people assume that the sneeze shield over the food also deflects your voice. Because there we were, in front of the mongolian potatoes (which were decent, by the way) and he's talking to me about how weird it is that there are mexicans working in a chinese restaurant. While that's pretty funny, I still can't stand five feet away from them and talk about it! Maybe I just have super freaky hearing, but I think I could hear someone talking about me from that distance. Ah well, I commend his fearlessness. <3 On to the tofu.. I knew immediately what it was, there's no mistaking those little cubes of pasty death...okay, so I didn't know they were cubes of pasty death yet, but I still knew it was tofu.

So I just throw out the usual.. 'Dare ya to eat some tofu'.... he says 'I will if you will' aHA! Counterattack! So you know I couldn't wuss out.. even if I did choose a cube on the smaller side. Honestly, they didn't actually look that bad, had some kind of garlicky sauce goin' on. So we throw back the tofu at the same time. Maybe that was a sign, because I've never seen a 'lets eat it at the same time' have a happy ending. Indeed.....the only word that comes to mind is 'squidgy'. Oh god, the horror..like a gym sock full of beans, rolled in some garlic.. all condensed into a tiny grey cube. I guess I can't blame anyone.. I mean, I've seen how they make tofu. What the hell was I thinking?! So we spent the next couple hours just walking around town, handing out loose change to the occasional transient, and looking at all the fake storefronts (they're filming a movie there, for those who don't know), and I actually fell in love with a fugly little retro chair in the window. I'm actually still wishing I had that chair.. honestly, you could build a room around it. Sorry, but I can't even describe it other than fugly retro.

Then it started to rain again. I LOVE THE RAIN! and Rog is probably the only one who'd keep walking with me. Sometimes there's just nothing better than walking around in the rain with nowhere in particular to go. Yeah, we got soaked, yes, we ended up looking like hell, but who cares! oh yeah, and about the restaurant, I'd tell you not to go there, cause the food isn't even that great and it's overpriced, but since I don't know the name, I guess I can't. Just avoid the place with 'Gourmet Buff' in the window. and that is all